Two Dollar Cinema

EXT. IMPOSSIBLY WELL-LIT BEDROOM- NIGHT After dinner at his parents house, GUY and GIRL lay in bed together, but facing in opposite dire...

It's almost embarrassing, honestly. I think about her constantly. I laugh at all her jokes, even if they don't make any sense. I...

I will die knowing, Hell, screaming  to anyone within earshot that middle school is hands-down the worst stretch of a given person's l...

When it comes to avoiding your impending, violent death, cinematically speaking of course, there are many rules to follow. Don't spea...

My dad was just in for his annual/semi-annual visit to the mid-Atlantic. Cooked a bunch, finished my basement, played an infinite number of...

I don't mean to brag or anything, but, uh, back in high school? I pretty much saved the Pacific Ocean. See, I spent the better part...

In the last few holiday seasons, there's been an alarming (and entirely unwelcome) trend threatening to make me swear off Christmas for...

When I say I hate kids , clearly I don't mean hate them hate them, but like anyone approaching the end of my fourth decade on this plan...

Ghosts? I get ghosts. Not really alive, just kind of hanging around where they used to live, maybe even being the occasional dick - this ma...