Mom? Mom! Are vampires real?

Oh my.
Alright, so it looks like I now make every movie a two-part event. Last night (after the Bruins smashing 5-2 victory over the Canucks) I began 2004's Night Watch. Today, during Matty's second (!) nap, I finished it.

So, why bother watching this? I'll give you two reasons.

Well, for starters, I have zero standards. More importantly however, Timur Bekmambetov. This is the man responsible for Wanted. Now, I've only seen it once, but I do recall loving it (and not just because of some Jolie side-boobage either) immensely. That said, I really didn't care for this one. It had some moments...

• The scene pictured above was really sweet. The finishing move is very cool.
• There's this Bay-esque falling screw scene...you just have to see it. Inspired weirdness.
• The conclusion! Almost made the movie make sense!
• Sweet-ass entire-movie montage at the end! Why don't all movies recap themselves during the credits?

Some other stuff though, yeesh. Owl transformation? No. Ultra-fast telephone repair truck? Are you kidding? CGI bird-vortex? Please, make it stop. 90% of dialogue and/or soundtrack? Goodness. Oh, and not that I think this holds true for all Russians, but damn, everyone in this movie is genuinely ugly. Maybe, I'll give you cursed train-lady (and possibly the girl with the burned face), but otherwise...damn.

I swear I'm going to watch a legitimate classic next. I need redemption.