I can't be in menopause and in coach.

This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

Two things. No, wait. Four things. One, I've never seen an episode of the show. Never. Two, I genuinely enjoyed the first Sex and the City movie. Three, I'm not gay. Married? Yes. Love dudes? No. Four, I hated this movie. If this movie was walking down the street I would punch it in the face. Twice.

I know I'm not the target demographic. I get it. As I'm typing this I have the screen split. Left side = this review. Right side = Sox vs. Royals (Sox are up 6-1 in the 8th, in case you're wondering). Still, I can handle a good chick flick. Sex and the City 2 is not a good flick, period. The acting can be laughable, the plot absurd, but worst of all is the script. You almost expect each actress to turn to the camera and give a Fonzie-style ayyyyyyyyyyy after delivering one of their countless groan-inducing lines (one of which I've featured in the title...).

Oh and special mention to the ridiculous costumes and dresses our lovely foursome are often clad in. Does high-fashion have to mean that you look like a space-hooker from the 80's? And who the Hell wears a gown in their house? I know that it's part of the charm (I guess) but it made me want to fight them. Especially Cynthia Nixon.

Final Note: The Gods literally did me a solid here. We recorded this one on the DVR during a rainstorm and I guess the signal kept cutting out (oh, DishNetwork sucks hard, by the way). So we'd be watching and it would say PARTIAL SIGNAL LOSS and just skip ahead. Maybe we'd miss 10 seconds, maybe 10 minutes. Who knows/who cares? I'm calling this a victory, though I do fully concede that you shouldn't pass judgement on a movie you haven't seen entirely. Unless it stars Cynthia Nixon.
Final Note #2: My brother once told me about a time he was playing charades with some family friends. He selected Sex and the City as the phrase he needed to act out. He immediately became flustered. Seeing this, they offered up their teenage daughter as assistance. "Use Lindsey! She can help you!" Yeesh.
Extra Credit: For the bathtub scene. Not worth seeing due to, but it might soften the blow if you have to.