I don't know whether to help you or euthanize you.

Thank you, I just had it stuffed.

I don't really remember anything specific about being an eighth grader. I remember the girl I had a crush on (a lovely, blue-eyed girl named Heather) and everything, but I don't remember doing anything overly dramatic about it. In Crazy, Stupid, Love. one of the main characters, a 13 year-old named Robbie, repeatedly one ups himself with awkward, stalker-esque claims and gestures of an undying love. It's painful to watch, but luckily the rest of the movie isn't.

Steve Carell is the Jedi-master of the downtrodden everyman. As likable as he is, he's often playing someone that the other characters in the story can't stand. We buy it because we like Carell, but at some point he's going to have to play a genuine douche - just to mix it up. Even super-villian Gru in Despicable Me turned out to be a solid guy.

Anyway, I thought this was pretty enjoyable and <gasp!> actually, surprising at times. My wife called a few of the turns (she routinely makes me feel stupid), but there was one in particular that we didn't see coming. It might be the romantic comedy equivalent of The Sixth Sense. Okay, that might be overselling it, but whatever, maybe I'm just slow. I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.

Excuse me, your balls are showing.

Um, anyway, another thing that movie has going for it is Ryan Gosling's character, Jacob. He starts out very charming and smooth, wanders into dishonest scumbag territory then sort of comes full-circle into likeable good-guy. He also comes off like the white Hitch. Regardless of being slightly derivative, his character is fleshed out enough that despite being a man-whore, he's a pretty solid individual. Pretty much like me, except for the man-whore thing. Oh, and he's handsome. And strong. And wealthy. But other than that...we're like brothers. Twin brothers.

RANDOMNESS BEFORE I CALL IT:

1. Turns out I kind of miss Kevin Bacon. Must've been that badass commercial....
2. Thank the dear Lord that Julianne Moore was not from Boston. Like nails on a wicked haad chalkboard.
3. Josh Groban? Really?
4. Guy who gets laid all the time is really unhappy. Oh, movies. You so crazy!
5. Worst 8th grade graduation speech ever.
6. Best 8th grade graduation present ever.

I just read something in one of my wife's magazines that suggested it takes roughly half the time spent in a relationship to get out of it. Sound numbers, unless you screw David Lindhagen.