Hey Anna, could you get the phone?

In middle school, I was in love with this girl named Heather. She had short, really-light blonde hair and exceptionally blue eyes. I loved her so much, it sort of crippled me. I became a shell of myself when I was around her. I was either painstakingly calculating something witty to say or staying absolutely quiet so as not to draw attention to my awkwardness. But while I was chasing (we didn't call it stalking yet) Heather, this other girl Yunji really liked me. Yunji was pretty too - still is, and super smart (she works for ABC News now - nice!). My friends endlessly badgered me about her (she had qualities that middle school boys could discuss for hours on end) but my infatuation with the unattainable Heather was too strong. The only time I ever felt anything for Yunji was, surprisingly, when she'd given up and decided to date some other chump. Then, being the 12-year old genius that I was, I would hang around her until she dumped Other Guy. And when she would, guess what I did? That's right. Ditch her and grovel after Heather (who I never, ever had a chance with). Oh, love. You fickle bitch.

I want you to want me. I need you to need me.

This silly anecdote leads us to yesterday's film, 2011's Like Crazy. Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones star in a love story so realistic and understated, it borders on documentary at times. No ultra-attractive people, no singing grand gestures, no annoying best friends - none of that. Just the intermittent joy and agony of giving yourself fully to another individual and trusting they won't rip your heart out of your chest. Like this.

Have you ever been in a really good mood until your significant other calls or shows up? Then you become this mush-mouthed a-hole? They, not knowing your ruse, genuinely ask you if something's wrong - to which you answer back in forced cheerfulness, No. You ever do that? Yeah, me neither - who would be such an asshole, right? Anyway, my point, is that this flick features many of those hurtful things that we do to the ones we love the most. If you don't connect with something here, then you kind sir, are a better man than I. And a lying sack of shit, too.


If you can't tell - I really, really liked this one. Not only is it very well done, but it also delivers on two celebrated fronts here at Two Dollar Cinema. It's quiet (this was a naptime feature) and it's short. A glorious/heart-wrenching 89 minutes. I take thee, Short Runtime...

Without further ado, let's head on over to the Yays and Boos, No, I-love-you-more style, shall we?

That's one of my moves right there, too. Douche!

 Yaaaaaaay!

• The chemistry between the two leads is ridiculous.
• Leaving notes on windshields! Classic move!
• Remember making people things? So classy and heartfelt. The polar opposite of the giftcard.
• Sweet sleeping montage. 
• The text scene! Oooh...so close.
• The Others. Simon. Dude, you're the man. And Katniss! Damn girl. You're understanding.
• The ending. It's like Inception, minus the top.

You gotta respect that kind of display of affection, you know what I mean?

 Booooo!

• There is no way a Brit would count off 'mississippis'! Help me out, British reader(s). Erroneous!
• Don't ever f--k with a student visa. Ever. Ever. Ever.
• Questioning the end. Don't do it, dude.
• The arch enemy of long-distance relationships? A tasty mix of curiosity and jealousy. And whiskey. And Simon. Dreamy, dreamy Simon.
• You're asking a lot of me as a audience member when the backup girl is super hot! C'mon! I can't root for the old one when the new one is so fine.

Before I go, does anyone remember three-way calling? Holy shit, that was the ultimate in middle school reconnaissance. I bet kids never do that anymore, huh? That's like, crazy.