I come in here and see you playing Hee Haw with the f--k around gang.

I ran for office once. Well, actually we ran for office. No, not me and you (but that would've been awesome, I'm sure), but me and three other high school seniors. We had this clever/bullshit idea of sharing the responsibilities of the four student council positions (president, VP, secretary and treasurer, naturally). But, between you and me, this was a savvy way that all of us could put Student Council President on our college applications and technically not be full of shit. This shady idea also accomplished something else. We didn't have to run against one another. That could've been ugly.

The Campaign is, undoubtedly, everything you think it is. If you think it looks like another giant turd shat upon us by that idiot Will Ferrell, well, you're right. But if you think it looks like another baby-punching, Ferrell stayin' classy, classic, you'd also be correct.


If you've seen the trailer, or have ever seen a Will Ferrell comedy, the plot is incredibly simple. Cam Brady, a cocksure congressman from North Carolina, is going about his business as usual. Moments before he is to secure himself as the sole choice on the ballot, Cam is stunned to find that his streak of unopposed re-elections has come to an end. Even more shocking, is the man challenging him, town-simpleton/punching bag Marty Huggins. R-rated hijinks abound.

Clearly, if you've ever read a word on this site, I'm all for some lowbrow shit. And to this, The Campaign delivers the dirty goods. Ferrell revels in the raunchiness the R-rating allows, repeatedly cursing (and f--king) his way through the 85-minute runtime.

Joining Ferrell and his patented schtick, is the hit-or-miss goofiness of Zach Galifianakis. I loved this guy during his stand-up days (did you ever see his talk show on VH1?), but was kind of down on him after he blew up with The Hangover. Maybe it was overexposure, or the stories that he was a real prick off screen, but for whatever reason he had fallen out of my good graces. Until now, that is. Sure, he's basically playing Jack Black's Bernie [review] character, but does so very earnestly. Marty Huggins (a socially awkward goofball) may be right in Zach's wheelhouse, but he has a tremendous amount of heart. It's a nice balance to all the dick-swinging bravado that Ferrell spews as Cam Brady.

Fresh off their failed bid for sophomore class treasurer at Knibb High, are the Yays and Boos. Their platform? Vending machine-funded dances and an relentless belief that the football team does indeed, rule.

Hope your not easily offended by little kids saying bad words.

Yaaaaaaaay!

• Randomness. Cam Brady's dad? Oh, he was the head stylist for Vidal Sasoon. Or, the mention of licking buttholes in a Denny's bathroom.
• There are a few scenes that made me choke on my own laughter. An example? How about dinner-table confessional? It could be troublesome that Marty's son has a whole book of cootershots.
• The other such scene was the pre-debate trash talk. The washing machine comment was almost no match for a balloon filled with your own butt-toots.
• John Goodman shows up! Victory, that.
• So does Bobby from The Practice. I mean Dermot Mulroney aka The Greek Butcher.
• Will Ferrell's post snake-bite arm. Goodness.
• The mere mention of playing fantasy hockey.
• And finally, this flick's take on campaign ads. So happy we can put all the real ones behind us.

Aykroyd's best non-Ray Stantz role? Grosse Pointe Blank.

Boooo!

• Going to the well, even though I love it. You know what would have been interesting? What if the two leads had switched parts? I mean, Ferrell can do this in his sleep.
• Wolf Blitzer, you prick. That's twice now.
• The whole China sub-plot was stupid. And not good stupid. 
• The happy ending. I hate it when everyone comes to their senses. What is this, an actual story? I'm pretty sure, about forty minutes ago, someone punched a baby.

Back in high school we didn't really have to campaign all that much. I think we gave one speech. Surprisingly, we weren't unopposed either, though for weeks it looked that way. Very late in the game, two other students entered the race: a smart, quiet girl and her effeminate, almost albino, freakishly-tall friend decided to run against us. We were popular (you can rank me third in the quartet) but didn't really have much to say. They were thoughtful and appeared to actually want the job, as opposed to just the title.

I'll let you guess who won.