Maybe she was wearing underwear that has a vagina painted on it.

Close your eyes. Think about whatever it is in your life that brings you stress. It could be work, school, money, family, relationships or any responsibility that weighs you down. Whatever the answer, there's one thing that further f--ks everything, er, complicates all of the above. Kids. 

Hell, even if you answered kids initially, it still holds true. Adding more basically elevates crazy to insane. And this is coming from a guy who has just one kid. One. Ish.

This is 40 is a heartfelt, though surprisingly crude look at the overwhelming chaos that raising a family is. And like any typical family gathering, it has moments of hilarity and joy, endless bickering and frustration, uncompromising children (lost in electronics), and more than one awkward blow up. It also might drag on a little longer than everyone would like, too.

But unlike most family functions, at least around these parts anyway, it's got Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann. Either is good. But both? Oh, that's great. They guarantee a good time.

I remember liking Knocked Up, but that was before I decided I hated Katherine Heigl (well, outside of looking at her, which is fun). This sort-of sequel is a lot funnier because instead of Izzie Stevens and The Green Hornet, we get the dynamic duo of Mann and Rudd. I've loved her dating back to The Cable Guy. And Rudd? Shit. You can't not like that guy. It's impossible.

What also seems impossible, is the notion that director Judd Apatow can make a short movie (Funny People is 146 minutes!). Now, if you're enjoying it like me and my wife were, it doesn't really matter if it routinely meanders (a lot like this blog, actually). But, if you're one of those people that likes say, structure or a focused story, it'll likely infuriate you (a lot like this blog, actually). I don't think Apatow cares, either way. He makes things personal, his way, and includes true family stories as often as possible, likely to his own amusement (hmmm...).

Man, that rambled a bit. Probably should've edited that down a little. Oh well. Here are the foul-mouthed Yays and Boos. I have some stuff planned for them. But I might just let them riff for awhile, too.

Top 10 funniest scenes ever. Maybe even top 5.

Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

• The ol' digital vs. analog dick argument. 
• Not only is playing Words with Friends on the toilet pretty classic, but the fact that Rudd drops QAT on his opponent? Brilliant. Though, I hate when somebody triples me up with that shit.
• Graham Parker's hat! Aren't cookies the best? Chris O'Dowd is seriously the best person alive.
• Though Melissa McCarthy f--king steals the entire movie with the scene pictured above. I laughed so hard that the tears actually soaked the front of my pants. Apparently, my tears smell like urine.
• Jason Segel's character is pretty funny, too. Barb doesn't give me a boner.
• While the fart scene in The Vow infuriated me, Paul Rudd blowing ass in bed was hysterical.
• Mom's busy!!! This moment made me wish my wife was a smoker.
• The gynecologist guy. This dude was pretty funny in his limited screen time. The count the rings line was a personal favorite.
• Okay, there's a scene where Leslie Mann comes on to her husband by casually talking to him while one of her breasts hang out. Clearly, this was written by a man, yes? I mean, combining humor with female nudity? Screw playing someone mentally handicapped. This should guarantee Oscar.
• Now I know the difference between a gay mustache and and a regular mustache. Thanks.
• And finally, the little Tom Petty Showdown was something that dreams are made of. Equal parts hysterical and absurd, another tear-jerker for me. Would never happen, but I loved every second of it.

I was just going to write racial slurs down here assuming no one's looking.

 Booooooo!

• Pete and Debbie are easy to relate to, which is a plus. But then they go and have movie jobs. Oh, and movie co-workers. Scratch that, then.
• The daughters. I think they both do an excellent job (at times, anyway), but they are incredibly annoying. Sometimes I just wish that one of you had a dick. Truer words have never been spoken.
• Pete's dad, played by Albert Brooks. What was this whole arc? Triplets? His bitter wife? The crappy house with the airplanes flying over it? What the shit? Everything about this bit screams deleted scene. Same with Lithgow, too.
• So, Pete and Debbie are having major financial problems, right? Guess there's no better idea than to go to the most kickass hotel ever for a weekend of living it the f--k up. Makes sense.
• The bike crash fight scene. Stupid. And pointless.
• Can someone explain Charlyne Yi to me, please? Wait. Nevermind. I'll just end up fighting you.
• And finally, the hockey guys. So we get some legit NHL players in this and no Milan Lucic or Zdeno Chara? Missed opportunity, Judd. I mean, no one likes the Flyers. No one.

Speaking of misguided decisions, what the Hell is with everybody having kids so late in life? Was that the point? Is this some sort of cautionary tale reflecting the trend of people having kids past their prime? When they're too old to have and raise a baby? The whole I don't think I can do this again thing?

 

'Cause I didn't go to the movies to have that shoved in my face. Not even if it's exactly how I'm feeling.

My wife's due in July. With another kid.