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Wednesday, December 23, 2020

If you believe, it's all possible.

I hate lying to my kids. 

My daughter is seven years old, and her belief in Santa Claus has been steadily waning. This year, she's been rather boisterous in calling faaaaake whenever anybody mentions jolly ol' St. Nick. There is no part of me that is willing to say, now, you wait just a minute, young lady...

Typically, you could blame the older sibling, but I'm not even sure Matthew is the reason she ain't having it. Maybe in a year where friends, family, sports and school are taken away from you, maybe you grow up real/too quick?

So, in an effort to renew her faith, without being dishonest, I did what any responsible parent would do.

I put on a holiday move. And in an effort to write something for this blog...one I hadn't seen.

And shocking no one, I watched it with just her, as my wife and son bailed almost immediately on Netflix's color-soaked 2020 musical, Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey. Recommended to me earlier that day by a co-worker (sorry, Margaret), I thought what better way to get in the spirit, right? And you know what?

It worked. [insert stoic, Tiger Woods-style fist pump]


Jangle is a good dude, proud father, and frankly, bad-ass inventor, and when we meet him, the final component for his greatest creation yet arrives in the mail. In a flash we see what is destined to be the toy of the century, some insanely articulated and wildly articulate Matador-type mechanical doll named Diego (voiced by Ricky Martin, clearly livin' la vida loca). Diego is special, so special in fact, he balks at the idea of being mass-produced and convinces Jangle's somewhat lowly assistant Gustafson to bounce up out of there real fast. And to, uh, grab Jangle's idea book on the way out the door. Major naughty-list behavior right there.

That. Coat.

Cut to many years down the road, and Jangle (uh, who's played by Ghost Dog himself, Forest effing Whitaker by the way *dies of elation*) is an incredibly miserable, as my grandfather would've put it, son of a ... gun. He's not only lost his wife (she dead), his daughter (she gone), his mojo (byeeee), but he's about to lose his shop, too. Paddington's dad doesn't want to kick him out, but Jangle's so far behind on rent, Mr. Brown's got no choice. If only Jangle could invent something, you know? Something whimsical, perhaps? Something that would make an entire town full of people start singing and dancing?

Bah. That's impossible, right? *reads poster* Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Speaking of impossible, try to enjoy the Yays and Boos.

This scene was wild.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

  • I can't believe I'm going to say it, but suck on that Paddington 2, as Jingle Jangle is now home to the raddest pop-up book-style scene in cinematic history.
  • Not only does Edison have a sweet, sweet name for a young apprentice, but bonus points are also awarded for the kid giving off epic Steve Erkel vibes.
  • Gotta admit, background dancers outta nowhere turned out to be something I didn't know I needed in my life.
  • Young Gustafson is a jerk. But grown up Gustafson? He's played by Keegan-Michael Key and it's amazing. Fine, he's still a jerk, but c'mon. It's flippin' Key.
  • Hurry back...as slowly as you can. Gonna use that one at work, I can feel it.
  • There's point where Jeronicus yells at his young grand-daughter and Violet was not having it. Her advice? I'd slam the door as hard as I can so he knows how I really feel. She's seven.
  • Probably would have hurt the streams, sure, but can I suggest the alternate title of Dope Coats: The Movie, please?
  • Dude, Lisa Davina Phillip almost steals the show as the impossibly lovely/hilariously aggressive Ms. Johnston. Of all the things Jangle has invented, apparently working spectacles ain't on the list.
  • If you aren't feeling this movie and are thinking about bailing, please, make it as least as far as the snowball-fight scene. Not only is it amazing, but it's also pretty flippin' hilarious, too.
  • Every time there is a problem, do you know what someone does to solve it? Math. *squeals*
  • There's a high probability that a cute little girl in a given movie is going to be obnoxious. And in a feel-good holiday musical, go ahead and times that by infinity. But here? Young Madalen Mills is absolute star. She's sooo awesome.
  • The soundtrack is pretty great, but hot damn Make it Work Again is the jam of all jams. Dude, I could listen to Forest sing uh, pretty much forever.
  • And finally, not much better than watching a movie with my little girl, you know? She's seven, so I've probably got three to five more years where she'll want to hang out with me, but I'll absolutely take it. Vi, if you're way older and you've somehow stumbled onto this review, let me tell you this: you were the best little kid ever and I was always super proud of you.

This guy is the worst. I mean, he's great. 
But also totally terrible, too.
Boooooooooo!
  • Pretty sure someone involved with this flick owes the entire set design team of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium a Hawaiian vacation or two.
  • Oh, and maybe The Greatest Showman director, too. And everyone in Hamilton while we're at it.
  • Okay, gotta be straight with it. Sometimes? I had absolutely no idea why everyone was dancing.
  • Whatever the budget was for this one, pretty sure about a quarter of it went to zany sound effects. *insert slide whistle sfx here*
  • Aw, what a fun holiday movie for the family, right? Oh, what's that? The mom dies tragically? Uh...
  • Pawn broker, when uttered with a classy British accent...sounds like something much more adult.
  • I know that's how these movies go, but c'mon Gramps, why you gotta be such a jerkface to your obviously adorable and genius grand-daughter. This attitude certainly ain't dyno-mite, JJ. (anyone?)
  • Why are kids the worst? My daughter, when it dawned on her she was actually enjoying the movie? She turns to me and says, I guess it's not so bad, but the trailer was kind of boring. ('boring' is a curse word in this house)
  • Just to let you know, if there's a pillar, someone's gonna twirl around it mid-song.
  • And finally, I won't spoil it for you, but the final invention? The thing that saves the day? I hated it. It looked like Wall-E except I wanted to jam it in my stomach and turn it into a trash cube. True, Violet said it was all she wanted for Christmas, but trust me, it's terrible. (for the record, we got her a gigantic soccer goal and a whole bunch of Pokemon stuff [even though in the last 48 hours she claims all she wants is Hedwig]). Keep that on the down-low though, cool? Cool.


While you've seen this movie before, Jingle Jangle: A Chirstmas Journey is still a good time, and a perfectly infectious holiday flick. From the costumes, to the music, to the all-around movie-magic, obviously Violet and I had a real good time with this Netflix original. 

And even if we've since moved on to all things Harry Potter (apparently a holiday meal at Hogwarts scene constitutes those as Christmas movies) when the credits rolled, Violet was pretty stoked. When she gave me a gentle hi-five before bed, she kind of half-whispered the following to me:


You know what Dad? I kind of still believe.


Hopefully she always will. 

6 comments:

  1. I forgot about this, I keep meaning to see if my son wants to watch it with me. He's also like Violet where he's totally given up on the Santa myth. He completely deadpanned "my mom is Santa" to someone asking him about it recently. lol

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    1. HAhahahaha. My daughter was all tough about it, until we got super close to the day. Then I think she figured, just to be on the safe side...might as well go all in on this Santa business. I'm okay with it either way, but I gotta admit...I do kind of like the fact that they can still be little kids...even if it's only in December. I'm in no rush for hardcore tweens.

      Your son sounds like a legend.

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  2. Merry Christmas Eve! This was a very sweet review. I’m glad that Violet still believes in Christmas! But whether there is a Santa, I hope that she keeps believing the the spirit of Christmas! :)

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    1. Merry...New Year's Eve...eve-eve. Thank you so much! She came around a lot more as we got closer to Christmas, fully embracing the holiday spirit. In fact, both of my kids SWORE they heard Santa in the house, so for another year...the belief continues.

      Ah, such a lovely comment, Nina...thanks!

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  3. Well, I might have to check this on out. Great review!

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