With that said, let me share my own personal monument, the Mt. Rushmore of Clutch Neighbors. The idea is a tribute to all my fellow bloggers, who even though they don't exactly live next door, they still feel very close.
As a (former) young man, there was likely never a better cinematic neighbor than Danielle. First, she's impossibly hot, and definitely Canadian. Two huge wins right there, eh? But truly making her clutch, and cementing her status on the monument, is the fact that she used to be an adult film star. Hopefully, that means she's easy, but even if she isn't, tracking down her, um...work should be.
On paper, maybe the perfect neighbor. First, as anyone who has ever lived in an apartment knows, it's nice to live near quiet people. Driver might actually be mute. So there's that. But even better, is the fact that not only will he help you carry your groceries, he might even fix your car, too. We all need a mechanic friend, right? Of course we do. Oh, wait. He'll also f--king destroy anyone who could potentially harm you or your kid, all while wearing a pretty sweet scorpion jacket.
Living next door to Marty is a bit of a conundrum. You two can go ice skating, which is always a nice time. Splendid, even. She's also witty, super observant, full of very sound advice, and a real old soul. A great conversationalist, too. Easily a woman a guy attending his high school reunion could fall in love with. The rub? Marty's thirteen. Aw, damn. Creeper status notwithstanding, Marty is still a great neighbor.
The only thing better than living next door to an old scary man who kills people with his shovel, is living next door to a not scary old man who saves people with his shovel. The South Bend Shovel Slayer might scare you into shoplifting a toothbrush, but he can also knock a bitch out with his shovel. And, he'll even sit next to you in church. This guy, more than any other neighbor I can think of, comes up huge.
Or, in a word, clutch.
Thanks for reading (and/or participating) and make sure to come back on Friday to see everyone else's Mt. Rushmore of Movies. Most are crazy good. Others? Just crazy. But the good kind of crazy.
Cool neighbors. Just being honest when I say I'd switch out the 13 year old for Ms. Parker from Friday. Not that she brings anything 'clutch' other than there would be a chance that she would let me...um...y'know.
ReplyDeleteHonesty is an admirable trait, but.....as much as I'd be in for Ms. Parker and her old berries, trust me, Marty is waaay better.
DeleteI mean, she's young, yeah.
But she's going to grow up to a space queen.
Love this! Glad to be a neighbor to this awesome blog. Now, I want to know my clutch ;-)
ReplyDeleteDude. Your post for this blogathon was waaaay beyond clutch. F--king madness, it was.
DeleteAnd I loved it.
:-D
DeleteGreat post! I have a soft spot for The Girl Next Door, I think that movie is hilarious. I love what you wrote about Drive too, killing people who are going to harm you sounds like a pretty good trait in a neighbor to me!
ReplyDeleteI've only seen it once and I don't remember a lot of the laighs, but Cuthbert's hotness is unforgettable. And as for the Driver, other than the fact that you might often think he's asleep with his eyes open, that guy is a pretty solid neighbor. And so dreamy...
DeleteJerry Dandrige from the original Fright Night would be a cool neighbor just because we could spy on him making love to hot women. Who cares if he's a vampire! As long as he doesn't sparkle in daylight I'm cool with that.
ReplyDeleteSigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters would have been a good neighbor to have too!
But I would trade them both for Natalie Portman and Elisha Cuthbert.
Ooh... speaking Natalie Portman, Leon The Professional is another great neighbor!
I don't remember the original Jerry...but I like where your head's at. Smart man.
DeleteWeaver is probably taller than I am. I arbitrarily hate anyone taller than me, so I'm going to exclude her on a technicality.
Portman wins no matter what. I'm pretty sure it's a law or something.
Hi very cool list. I think my favorite neighbor would be the driver, but that elevator scene...eh...yeah that scene made gag a little bit. Elisha Cuthbert is actually quite funny. So she would be a fun neighbor to have. Thanks for hosting the blogfest. I added my list late last night. What a great idea for a blogfest.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! Thanks for joining in. Of course Cuthbert is funny. I mean, anyone that attractive is hilarious. And smart. And whatever else you can come up with.....haha.
DeleteI liked your list a lot. I think Dave might be my favorite spaceman ever. Well, outside of Bugs Bunny in Space Jam.
Awesome list! Such an interesting thing to think about. First thing that came to mind was Mr. Mertle and Hercules from The Sandlot.
ReplyDeleteThat guy was pretty clutch, I have to admit. I'll hang a picture of him in the men's room at the monument, as he just misses the cut.
DeleteAyyy, I adore The Girl Next Door and Cuthbert is really hot, too. But my favourite from here is Old Man Marley, too, because that guy was just awesome.
ReplyDeleteAyyyy....I totally agree. When searching for Cuthbert picks, I had completely forgot how hot she was. Er, is. Am? Whatever. You know what I mean.
DeleteDude! Old Man Marley! This guy is as clutch as they come. The old lady that lives next door to me has a snow shovel, but alas, has never foiled my house being broken into by the Wet Bandits.
Great post! I can't help of think of the neighbors in the Burbs!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy wife loves that movie so much, I'll have to ask her about it.
Delete(I think the last time I saw that movie...was in the theater!)
Thanks for participating, Angela. You made a great list!
Awesome choices! Elisha is so hot, shame she isn't half as talented as she is attractive but that was a fun little movie.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably 100% truth, but I will never fully agree with it. She is an amazing talent, with a nice set of personalities and a perfectly round um...charisma. I think.
Delete(I honestly don't even remember liking the movie that much...maybe a rewatch is order?)