I'm inside all of you.

It's not Sunday, but I think it's time to confess a trilogy of sins. No, no. My movie sins.

I think I've seen two-thirds of the Before trilogy. Missed the last one, but I assume they walk around Paris and talk to each other about stuff? I'd guess they pontificate about love and relationships, but for all I know, they side-eye each other dreamily while discussing..

..the Three Colours trilogy. And which film is their favorite. But as I've never seen any of them, that would be spoilery, wouldn't it?

Speaking of spoiling, I've also heard countless things about how Sofia Coppola ruined the third Godfather film, but, uh...I'm going to have to take everyone's word on that one. I've only seen the first Godfather film. But I have seen it twice.

Wow, just saying it aloud...I already feel better.

Or I would, had I just not completed Pitch Perfect 3 with my wife, thereby finishing off the Fat Amy Trilogy. Fine, that's (probably?) not what it's known as, but no matter what you call it, I've seen all three Pitch Perfect films. Fully on purpose, too.

I'm more or less full of shit, because between you and me dear/poor reader, ain't nothin' I love more than a goddamned cinematic sing-a-long. Especially one led by the lovely duo of Ana Kendrick and Brittany Snow. But m.brown, you're so effing manly, with your movie blog and color-coded closet. I know, I know, Italics Guy, I'm shocked too.

Also moderately surprising, is the fact that there even is a third film in this series, because if I remember correctly, the second one kind of sucked (guess I could watch it again, you know, for research). And whoever, well, (successfully) pitched this premise, had to have used the most epic f--king Jedi mindtrick ever. *waves hand* You will greenlight a Pitch Perfect film that heavily features DJ Khaled. And yet I'm still not complaining.

This (final?) time around, the Bellas have come together for a reunion show, or so they'd thought, when it kind of collectively dawns on everyone that they are not only old, but also pretty unhappy. It seems the dreams and potential of their youth have slipped away, and a new generation of perky pop-singers have taken their place. The Hell? I'm here for some low-cut shirts and high-key medleys, and now I'm questioning whether I've got enough hose and tape to go out Midsommar style? Aca-scuse me?

I think we're moments from a riff-off, so, um, please excuse my secretions. All of them.

Luckily, ish, the Bellas get an invite to join a USO tour, which just so happens to be an audition to open for DJ Khaled, too. Read it again, if you must but f--k you, I'm serious. On top of that, Fat Amy's dad shows up (John Lithgow, periodically rocking an Aussie accent) to rekindle a relationship with his little girl and perhaps tap into her near $200 million dollar inheritance. Yep. It's all super ridiculous, but those are the same two words I use to describe how hot Anna Kendrick is, so here we are.

Speaking of places we'd never thought we'd be, here are the Yays and Boos for the Barden Bellas. I don't know where this magical university is, but I'm thinking I need to pursue my doctorate there.

If they ever decide to replace the flag, this gets my vote.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

• As much as I wanna punch him in the dick, Pimp-lo was actually pretty funny. His rap during the end credits was dope.
• Oh, it's shark week?
• I might download some Evermoist. 
• Holy shit, the first riff-off was so good. If they released a Das Boot six-hour version that was nothing but medleys, I'd be all for it.
• Does Brittany Snow age? She's been gorgeous forever. I dig that she gets more to do this time, even if it's fawning over some lame chump (more on him in a bit).
• The stars and stripes/USO outfits are incredible. I'd say I support the troops, but I don't think they need it. Support, get it? Cuz, you know...boners.
• I dig Cheap Thrills when Sia sings it, but when AK does it? *dies*
• The way they treat the rando Bellas might be my favorite thing ever. Well, outside of the singing and the dancing and the heavy petting. Wait, what?
• Okay, it wasn't exactly heavy petting, but there's some completely unnecessary boob fondling that I was simply not ready for. I mean, you have to brace yourself when time slows and your can feel your heart beating.
• Speaking of almost dying, we're gonna throw in a Toxic cover? Cause of death? Brittany. Er, Brittanys.
• Satan has finally left my body. Oh, Ester. Same, for You smell like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow?
• Yep, not sure it makes any sense thematically, well, outside of the chorus, but AK doing Freedom by George Michael? Oh, yeah. I'm in.
• And finally, there's a little bit of loose talk about a fourth installment being in the works. Something Rebel Wilson keeps putting out there, apparently. Holy shit, right? I mean, I'm assuming they'll be fighting dinosuars in space or whatever, but who cares? Pretty soon, these sexy ladies are all going to be in their forties. Can you imagine? That removes like, four-ninths of the pervy-ness, right? RIGHT?

What major Hollywood crime did this guy witness?

Boooooooo!

• Uh, Alexis Knapp (aka Stacie, aka the um, tall one) is not in this. I repeat, she's not in this. Fine, she is, but for like two seconds. What the f--k is this? 
• And to just piss in pool further, we don't get Knapp, but we do get effing DJ Khaled? Is there some sort of tiddy quota we can't exceed?
• Screw you guys, but, Hot Guy ain't all that hot. There, I said it. Brittany Snow loses her shit every time this dude shows up, as do I, but apparently for vastly different reasons.
• Same goes for Becca's love-interest, some dude played by Guy Bernet. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but all I'm seeing is a bootleg Patrice Bergeron (who can we all admit, is the greatest man on the planet?).
• Honesty, the less Fat Amy backstory the better, as her whole Daddy's back sub plot is painful. 
• Which leads us to the kitchen fight scene, that while oddly funny (initially), is a generous helping of what the f--k? topped with please make it stop on the side.
• Shocking no one, there's a large musical number to close the show, and it's pretty great. But, it's only like one song long. What? We probably didn't have time for half of what's included, but we certainly have time for AK singing with the Bellas one last time (even if they didn't have mics...).
• And finally, I probably shouldn't admit this anywhere, but whenever I can't sleep, or whatever, or simply need some background noise, I almost always put on the first Pitch Perfect [review]. It's almost like listening to the radio, with some (fairly annoying) conversation in between. Anyway, this morning, after waking up around 3am alone on the couch with my dog staring at me ( meaning it was pee time), I relocated to the basement so as not to wake my wife. Naturally, I put on the first flick at about 3:30 am and I f--king finished it. When I reset my alarm it said it would go off...in 17 minutes. F--k me.

I have exactly three nights left of my summer vacation (which kind of feels like it's been going since mid-March), so if I ran the numbers right, I have time to start and finish one entire trilogy before the dream is dead. Gotta make sure it's something good. Something legendary.

When's the next Bill & Ted come out?