In & Out [post]: Uncharted

Fell out of a car that fell out of a plane.

Title: Uncharted Rating: PG-13 Runtime: 116 mins

With: My older brother     Is Mark Wahlberg still alive? Maybe

What's it about? If you've played the video games or have the ability to imagine Indiana Jones minus a charismatic lead and mostly void of joy, you're halfway there. Add in something about a map and a lost treasure (and gold, sweet sweet golddd), and just like that...you've got everything you need to know about Uncharted.

What works: Three things: two gigantic action sequences and the infinite charm of Tom Holland. The action, the notable stuff, unfortunately pretty much bookends the film, with tons of silly exposition to slog our way through in between. But when things get crazy, it's inspired, and it's hard to not to be impressed with the spectacle of things that aren't supposed to be flying through the air doing just that. And yes, Holland is essentially playing Peter Parker as if Aunt May had been murdered, too, but I'm going to allow it. For now.

In & Out [post]: The Batman

Justice. The answer's justice.

Title: The Batman Rating: R Runtime: 176 mins

Where: Regal West Manchester How tired was I: Very 

What's it about? We've known for years that Gotham is a bottomless shit hole tits deep in murderous villains and gangsters, sure, but somehow, it's gotten worse, making Batman's job, this go-round, even more loathsome than before. And now? Even being Bruce Wayne sucks a rain-soaked dick, as it turns out his family's tragic legacy was built on lies, murder and deep-rooted corruption. Or was it?

What works: Turns out, staying awake, as I enjoyed this one infinitely more the second time around. That scene with the (actual) bat? Yeah, I didn't catch a glimmer of that the first time through (and who knows what else). Obvious shit like actually watching the entire movie aside, I really enjoyed the casting, with Pattinson and Kravitz just eviscerating the screen with their deadly mix of charismatic aloofness and unrelenting sexiness. The score is an absolute banger, and doom-and-gloom of Gotham has never looked doomier and/or gloomier. Frankly, there wasn't much I didn't love...

In & Out [post]: Promising Young Woman

Can you guess what every woman's worst nightmare is?

Title: Promising Young Woman  Rating: R  Runtime: 117 min

Streamed on: HBO Max   Number of times my wife fell asleep: 0

What's it about? The only promise this young woman makes, is a day of reckoning for all the assholes and would-be scumbags of the world. That tipsy blonde in the corner of the bar? Take her home, bro. I f--king dare you. (basically, this film could be the most badass MCU flick ever, as it's essentially a goddamned superhero flick where Thanos' plan ain't got shit on what the criminally underappreciated Carrie Mulligan has in store for half the population)

What works: From the very first scene to the very last, Promising Young Woman is relentless. The mystery of how we are where we are unravels with a remarkable intensity, as Cassie's journey is equal parts terrifying and terrific. It's an awful story about awful people doing awful things, but there's a certain uneasy pleasure derived from Cassie's mission. The script is amazing, the supporting cast tremendous, but it is absolutely Mulligan who f--king owns every frame she is in (and honestly, even the frames she's not in).