Remakes and sequels. Sequels and remakes. It's easy to complain about them, but damn near possible to ignore them. And it's not because that's all my theater has, dammit! (I have genuine nostalgia for this film-nerd douchery), clearly, as that argument hasn't left its house since mid-March. Not even for toilet paper and Raisin Bran Crunch.
No, the real reason I can't stop watching remakes and sequels, even when I have an infinite amount of original content, is it connects me to the past. Back when things were simpler, happier, and shockingly carefree. Yeah the jokes and effect might not age well, but Hell, neither did I. And if you're telling me I can kind of go back to the good ol' days for an hour or two?
Why wouldn't I?
Film: Charlie's Angels
Runtime: 118 min Rating: PG-13
Audience: Dad w/ phone
Status: Tragically indifferent
Not mints.
Wow, as much as I love the original goofy-ass McG version of Charlie's Angels, I honestly was a bit surprised at how little I gave a damn about this updated, Elizabeth Banks iteration. I'd be the first to admit that the Drew Barrymore flick hasn't exactly aged well, but at least is was fun. This time around the Angels have gotten younger, and a bit...classier, but at great cost. Cue Amy Dunne's Cool Girl monologue right about...now.
Fine, it's not all bad (nah, it is), but in an effort to make this seemingly for women, or at the very least, for girls, Banks and friends have tasked themselves with what just might be an impossible mission. I have no doubt that a story about a cadre of badass female spies could be heavenly (it's okay, I'll punch myself in the nuts for that one), but this ain't it, boss. Instead, it's a too serious, perhaps overly-complicated slog that should have been an incredibly slick, fast-paced romp. The new Angels aren't terrible (though KStew's jokes just might be), but the script and some (most) of the action scenes were (my God). Oh, and that dance scene...just...why?
Yay: The very end was soo good. No, not the part where Picard gets punched in the face, but after.
Boo: I might have been drunk, but did they really retrofit these Angels directly over the old ones?
Homeschool Lesson of the Day: If you're going to re-write history, might as well make it interesting.
No, the real reason I can't stop watching remakes and sequels, even when I have an infinite amount of original content, is it connects me to the past. Back when things were simpler, happier, and shockingly carefree. Yeah the jokes and effect might not age well, but Hell, neither did I. And if you're telling me I can kind of go back to the good ol' days for an hour or two?
Why wouldn't I?
 |
| Top: Ella Balinska dunks on Stewart Middle: This ain't helping Picard become captain of anything Bottom: It took me way too long to realize that's Jasmine |
Runtime: 118 min Rating: PG-13
Audience: Dad w/ phone
Status: Tragically indifferent
Not mints.
Wow, as much as I love the original goofy-ass McG version of Charlie's Angels, I honestly was a bit surprised at how little I gave a damn about this updated, Elizabeth Banks iteration. I'd be the first to admit that the Drew Barrymore flick hasn't exactly aged well, but at least is was fun. This time around the Angels have gotten younger, and a bit...classier, but at great cost. Cue Amy Dunne's Cool Girl monologue right about...now.
Fine, it's not all bad (nah, it is), but in an effort to make this seemingly for women, or at the very least, for girls, Banks and friends have tasked themselves with what just might be an impossible mission. I have no doubt that a story about a cadre of badass female spies could be heavenly (it's okay, I'll punch myself in the nuts for that one), but this ain't it, boss. Instead, it's a too serious, perhaps overly-complicated slog that should have been an incredibly slick, fast-paced romp. The new Angels aren't terrible (though KStew's jokes just might be), but the script and some (most) of the action scenes were (my God). Oh, and that dance scene...just...why?
Yay: The very end was soo good. No, not the part where Picard gets punched in the face, but after.
Boo: I might have been drunk, but did they really retrofit these Angels directly over the old ones?
Homeschool Lesson of the Day: If you're going to re-write history, might as well make it interesting.
