Thursday, June 27, 2013

Welcome to Heaven, motherf--kers.

A hundred years ago, I was a communications student focusing in film and television production. And while it clearly didn't amount to anything, the four years I spent in the program were a real good time. There were few things better, well, during the day anyway, than getting together with my closest friends, shooting some ridiculous project and being allowed to call it schoolwork. And if we ever pulled good grades for those um, productions? Pure bonus.

Also pure bonus, is damn near every minute of This Is the End. Easily the funniest movie I have seen this year (maybe even the last few), Rogen and his crew completely deliver on the promising premise. And unlike some of their previous flicks, This Is the End doesn't hold back. At all.

The flick starts with Jay Baruchel landing in L.A. to spend some time with Rogen. They hang out, get high, play video games, and attempt to end the night hitting up a party at James Franco's house. After a couple of awesomely awkward minutes, and a trip to a nearby convenience store, all Hell literally breaks loose. A giant hole opens up in Franco's front yard swallowing the famous partygoers, both of the very and not at all varieties. We're left with the six guys featured on the poster, all delivering hilarious versions of themselves. With limited supplies and even less patience, these men must try to survive the end of the world. Together. I won't tell you who makes it out alive and who doesn't. But I will tell you that I cried during this movie. Actual tears.

I used to think that Dan Patrick's mancanve on NBCSports Network was the pinnacle of sweet man-jobs (that isn't supposed to sound dirty, but f--k it)[that wasn't either], but I'm now ranking it second. Being in the stable of friends that Rogen has corralled is my new number one. Their onscreen chemistry is utterly tangible and made me smile the whole time. It's so obvious that these guys are enjoying every frame onscreen it's hard not to feel the same way sitting in the audience. And despite being incredibly funny and successful, This Is the End actually reminded me of those college films we used to make. A bunch of guys trying to make each other laugh by saying and doing stupid shit. The only difference? They're talented. Oh, and rich.

Not talented and completely broke, are the Yays and Boos. We saw this one way back on Father's Day together, along with my brother Nikos. His one-word assessment of the flick? Tedious. But in the best way possible, if that makes sense. Speaking of slow and dull...

  • I honestly loved all the guys involved, but looking back, I think Jonah Hill steals the show. The scene where he is possessed still makes me laugh. Does it, Jay?
  • The day I ever get back to California, you best believe stop #1 is motherf--king Carl's Jr. Gluten be damned.
  • Our old gym teacher would preach that we should all be shitting five times a day. I thought he was crazy. Turns out, he was short by a shit.
  • Though they gave away some of his schtick in the previews, it might be worth at least half of the cost of admission just to see Michael Cera do his thing. You got some in your mustache. You'd be hard pressed to find a bigger asshole than Ultra Cera...
  • ...though McBride might have him beat. His intro scene is so f--king cool, I couldn't stand it. His line about James Franco not sucking d--k is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. 
  • Though Rogen's personal tragedy of being tittyf--ked by bullies, and all the subsequent tittyf--king conversations were equally hysterical. The Neighbor Guy's promise almost killed me too.
  • Craig Robinson. Criminally underused in all previous flicks from this universe, Craig gets a chance here and nails it. His piano song was awesome. As was his bed. I like my dick tent. And his summation of acting. That ruled too. (something about a bad foosball game and no spinsies?)
  • Paul Rudd. Any Rudd is always better than no Rudd.
  • Everyone knows that Hermione Granger shows up in this, which is a bummer. But the discussion upon her return? Oh, it more than makes up for it.
  • When water runs out, obviously thoughts turn to one place, and one place only. Drinking your own piss. On camera.
  • Call me the Prince of Persia.
  • Heaven. I guess all five members of the Backstreet Boys were selfless individuals who lived life the right way. Even if they ain't got shit on N'Sync.
  • And though I could go on and on, let me wrap this up with a quick mention of the scene where I got emotional. I don't want to spoil any of it, but I'll say it was a heated argument between Franco and McBride. It seriously brought me to tears. Franco's disbelief is f--king priceless.
Don't even like it, but now that I can call it C.T. Crunch? Oh, I'm buying it.
  • Though he's got the toughest role as the borderline voice of reason, I think we spend a little too much time with Baruchel. Less, might be more with his character.
  • Screw you guys, but I actually jumped at the beginning of the invasion. That shit scared me.
  • Look, as much as we all probably would kill to have a cameo in these movies, I think a certain magical Michael might've gone too far. I laughed and all...but really?
  • Whoa. Was that Gozer the Gozerian?  Or Zuul? Which one is the weird horned-dog thing?
  • Speaking of weird horned things, what's with all the massive dicks? Sure, they're hilarious, but you know what else cracks me up? Tits. Huge ones.
  • And finally, as much as I obviously loved this movie, it felt a lot longer than it was. But maybe that's because we almost missed getting my brother to the airport in time for him to make it back to Honolulu (we had seven minutes to spare). Or maybe it was the 666th dick joke. One of those.
If you've got the feeling that I liked this movie waaaay too much, let me remind you that I'm the guy that absolutely loved Pineapple Express.  Seriously. McBride and Franco are hysterical.

Turns out, deep down, even though I never really considered it, I'm a huge Seth Rogen fan. As much as he comes off a one-trick pony, after reading this article in the guardian (brought to my attention by the always awesome Candace) it's clear the guy is getting shit done - the right way. As for anything that he and his friends come up with after This Is the End?

Pure bonus.


  1. Great review! I nearly started crying during Michael Cera's scenes. When he throws the coke on Christopher Mintz-Plasse? Oh my God, I could've died. I LOVED The Pineapple Express as well, same with Superbad.

    1. Thanks, Brittani. Holy shit, that bit was hilarious? Does this coke smell funny?

      Totally with you. For whatever reason, it seems like everyone loves Superbad, but Pineapple Express is considered shit. Loved 'em both.

  2. Typically, I don't care much for any one involved much. But I have heard nothing but praise for this movie. I might have to check it out after all.

    1. If you don't like anyone involved, you might want to hold off, as your perception of them is half the the fun.

      In my opinion, the praise is deserved, but I could see how it would inflate with caution?

      If you go, let me know what you think!

  3. This was a truly amazing movie. So glad they pulled it off, although I never doubted them. Michael Cera & James Franco were my highlights. I loved all the painting Franco did around the house, like the Freaks & Geeks ones. Apparently he did them himself. I actually died during the Tatum part. The part where they do Pineapple Express 2 was awesome. God it was just so much fun. I can't wait to see it again and your review just made me want to do that right at this moment.

    1. Franco's paintings were the best. His delivery of all his earnest lines, is routinely hysterical. I die every time his feelings get slightly hurt, too. Cracks me up.

      Glad the Tatum bit worked for you. It was really funny seeing him so into that small role, but it actually veered into the too f--ked up territory. Though, anything having to do with McBride usually resides there.

      I could yammer on and on....I'm with you. The more I think about it, the more I'm tempted to just go see it again.

  4. Hilarious. Seriously, I don't think I stopped laughing once, even as hard as the action came in. Good review M.

  5. I'm with you, Dan. Funny shit. Start to finish.

  6. Awesome review! I really can't wait to see it - I love Robinson and Rogen, they were so hilarious in Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Shame that Russel Brand isn't in this one, though, I've recently rewatched Forgetting Sarah Marshal and it just never gets old.

    1. Thanks, Sati. You're the best.

      Somehow,I've completely forgotten about Robinson in Zack in Miri. Might have to re-watch that one. He is consistently hysterical.

      Seriously, I don't care what Brand was doing...he should have been there. I mean, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been hard for RB to show up for and hour and pretend to fall in a hole.

      Me too on Forgetting Sarah Marshal. I can watch that movie all the time...even if it makes me incredibly homesick. It's still hilarious.

    2. Yeah they could have just transported Brand from one party where he was probably getting wasted to this one where they shot the movie :)

      Robinson's scream in this one was one of the funniest things ever but the one thing that almost killed me apart from that jizz argument was Hill saying "It's me - J-bug, J-bug, America's Sweetheart!". Oh my God.

    3. If Brand's the super secret cameo, I'm going to be pissed I missed it. Pissed.

      Hill's f--king hysterical.

  7. Wow, you did it! You actually got me excited about seeing this movie. Maybe I can talk The Hubby into going to the theater with me tonight to watch it. I may even be able to get over my knee-jerk aversion to Danny McBride. Though just in case, maybe I should have a couple of drinks first.

    As a bonus, I could add the word "tittyfuck" to my lexicon, a word I've definitely never used. Until now. (As an aside, one of Alex Withrow's posts actually got me occasionally working the word "bangarang" into conversation.) "Tittyfuck" is probably not an attractive word for a 46-year-old matron to be throwing around. But who cares? Remember, I'm going to be drinking.

    1. You two should definitely go. I would be shocked if it didn't crack up anyone...much less someone like um, Cheers to that.

      I've really got to look into using bangarang. If Alex Withrow's on board...we all should be.

      Nah...that word works for everyone...46, 56...Hell, 106. It's just so subtle and classy. Timeless, even.

  8. Great review! I totally agree with your point here, "I think we spend a little too much time with Baruchel. Less, might be more with his character." He irritated me at times.

    Still, I really enjoyed the film.

    1. Thanks!

      Poor Baruchel. Outside of the exorcism scene, he rarely is involved of any of the big laughs.

      Yeah, me too. Not sure how some people didn't find it that funny. I thought it was hysterical!