Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo.

I don't drink. Never have.

Shit, I made it all the way through college and didn't even think twice about it. On my wedding day, not even a sip of the bubbly to celebrate the occasion. Hell, I've taught middle school in the inner-city for six years, and still, not a drop. But given the chance to relive high school, in my hometown, with some of my old friends? F--king bottoms up, right?

The World's End is f--king brilliant. Despite taking place in a town overrun by blue-blooded aliens, and despite the fact that it's all kinds of ridiculous, the movie is really an ode to lifelong friendship, and is grounded in a reality more familiar than 90% of the junk I see. For me, someone long out of college, and barely able to remember high school, director Edgar Wright has made a movie that taps into how all guys look back at that magical time known as high school. Some look back fondly, some look back regretfully, and some never look back at all. And some, well, some can't look back. Only because they never left in the first place.

I'm not really into ranking shit, but let me just tell you that I f--king love Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. I don't know where The World's End falls in the trilogy, nor do I really give a f--k to say one is better than the other. Wright, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have made three films that make me laugh endlessly. Period.

The third film in the Cornetto trilogy tells the somewhat somber (yet consistenly hilarious) tale of a group of old friends getting together twenty years after high school. The reason? Gary King (Pegg), the team-captain of sorts, believes they have some unfinished business, specifically, finishing an epic pub crawl they failed two decades prior. While the level of enthusiasm from the other guys varies, King is determined to see it through, possibly showing more determination in this evening than in his entire life beforehand. Old friends, old jokes, old flames won't stop him. Neither will a town full of aliens.

Me? I was laughing my ass off before things got out of hand, but when the aliens showed up, I almost pissed myself. Sure, I was all kinds of happy just to be in a quiet room full of reasonable adults (I saw this during the first week of school - easily the darkest days of my entire year [an annual tradition, finally ending), but when Andy Knightley (Frost) finally relents, I was done. Seriously, there are few things I enjoy more than seeing Nick Frost get angry and kick ass. Is that weird?

Anyway, what's really weird is that this review has been holding me up for weeks. Let's rip the heads of the Yays and Boos and spill their blue blood all over our electronic devices. I'm pretty sure they're aliens. I mean, their utter perfection and consistent hilarity is a dead giveaway, no?

Yaaaaaaaaaay!

• I think any amount of Pierce Brosnan is exactly the right amount. Damn, I loves me some Remington Steele.
• The mixtape. Man, I miss making those for girls. Okay, fine. For girl. Either way, Soup Dragons I'm Free is some pretty clutch 90's music.
• Drinking f--king rain. This is how I will forever refer to anyone having water ever.
• The Marmalade Sandwich. Mmm. That sounds good, I'll have that.
• The violence. Ridiculous and over-the-top, I loved every second of it. Major love to the bathroom brawl early on. That shit was great.
• The Bermuda Rhombus. Brilliant.
• Basil and his crazy straw. Not so crazy now.
• I really liked the crew. Obviously Frost and Pegg are the standouts, but Martin Freeman was pretty awesome, too. Same goes for Paddy Considine and Eddie Marsan.
• Oh, and can I say that Rosamund Pike, even though she looks much older than she is in this movie (she's eight months older than me), is soooo hot. Seriously. This is the perfect girl you never get over. We'll always have the disableds. Indeed.
• And finally, though the ending was really weird and far too abrupt, I absolutely loved the message. As someone who has spent my life trying to teach those who don't want my help, I can whole-heartedly agree with packing up your shit and saying f--k it. Perfect, really.

Booo!

• There were at least a handful of times that someone should have punched Gary King in the face and/or balls. I loved that guy, but what a dick (pretty major lie about his mom).
• The more I read about this trilogy, the more I hear about all these damn running jokes. I'm not booing them, more my inability to catch them.
• And finally, I don't get why so many people seem to almost hate this movie. I can understand being disappointed (especially with the pedigree), but hate it? Absurd.

Well, this has been my first post in a long time, and I'm actually just happy that I made it through. Life has been a little more stressful than usual with the the new/awful school year, the new/great baby and of course, the fact that I'm preparing to have my mom move five thousand miles closer to me two weeks from now. Oh, and I'm quitting my job, too. So there's that.

Damn. Typing it out makes it seem like the world as I know it is truly coming to an end.

Somebody pour me a f--king drink, huh?