I have to be honest with you, fake shit really ain't cutting it anymore.
Real life has become more dramatic and compelling than anything Hollywood could ever come up with, and when my kids aren't around, I can't seem to turn off the news. And it's all so unrelentingly terrible, it's like the longest horror movie ever.
And that was when it was just the f--king pandemic.
Prior to the nightly/rightly burning of America, I decided to give The Lovebirds a shot. It's not a stretch to say that the trailer was a bit eye-rolly, but both Rae and Nanjiani are funny and talented enough individually, you'd think Voltron-ing them together would guarantee some laughs. And it totally delivers.
Leilani and Jibran were that couple, the one that seemingly everyone around them envied. When we really settle in with the titular lovebirds, it appears their relationship has finally run its course. And just as their personal shit hits the fan, some random dude hits their windshield. The cop in pursuit commandeers their car and runs the dude over multiple times. Shit.
And just like that, instead of clearing their heads after a bad break-up, Leilani and Jibran must clear their names after a grisly murder. I mean, they could just go to the authorities and explain themselves, but...nah. It would be way better to follow a series of dicey-at-best leads with a person who minutes ago you never wanted to speak to again. Yeah, that makes sense.
What doesn't make any sense, would be to go much further with this post. If you are willing to trade ninety-plus minutes for a handful of moderate laughs, have at it. For me, for whatever reason, this flick was like one of my grandmother's Christmas presents: it meant well, but deep down I was still kind of hoping for something other than what I ended up with. Let's see if the Yays and Boos are any better than, say, a T-shirt from a local museum.
|That drug store had some dope clothes, right?|
- It's completely ridiculous, but I very much appreciated their Amazing Race argument. I'm convinced my wife and would not only lose, but we'd totally get divorced on air in front of the Eiffel Tower.
- The bit out the extra cup of milkshake made me laugh, probably more than it should have.
- The fire extinguisher to the hip was peak self-defense.
- Their handling of frat guy/Date Rape McGee was the right kind of stupid. Jibran's aggressiveness was extraordinary.
- The Lyft driver low-key singing along is the kind of small detail that I always f--king kill me.
- Do you think they're going to call more numbers?
- Freaky cult or not, that was a pretty smooth trick with the masks,
- And finally, even though this one really didn't land with me, I really hope to see more of Rae and Nanjiani on the big, uhhh, screen. Fine, technically, this one never hit the theaters, but still. Both leads are super-funny (in a very understated way), and despite a bunch of fairly-stupid quirky movie situations, their chemistry felt genuine.
|Where do you get one of those masks? Asking for a friend.|
- Did you see the trailer? Feel free to skip the first ten minutes.
- Aca-what the Hell? Was that the chick from Pitch Perfect? I almost didn't recognize her out of her flight attendant uniform (or, covered in vomit). [the Boo is you can never have enough Anna Camp]
- Petty, sure, but how the Hell did they figure out what apartment to enter from the outside of the building? Yes, I'm That Guy.
- Wow, they clean up nicely. We were one Sixpence None the Richer hit-single from the climax of She's All That.
- That Eyes Wide Shut amphitheater really came out of nowhere, didn't it? Two seconds ago, they were at street level, and just like that, they're seated in row DD of the upper orchestra section.
- Jeez, Cop Guy explains his intentions with all the subtlety of Scooby Doo villain.
- A cigarette lighter aids in their escape. Good thing they were in the last car ever to have one of those. Maybe they could have thrown a Trapper Keeper at him instead?
- And finally, it might actually be charming how sort of old-school throwaway this movie is. Clearly, The Lovebirds isn't aiming to change the world, and that's okay. I simply wish it would have been a little bit better.
Bitching about a movie not being all that funny seems like a privilege these days, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead. Actually, speaking of privileges (at this point), it's June 2nd in Pennsylvania, or, the date of our primary election. Time to go vote. By mail. I mean, we are still in a f--king pandemic, right? It won't take but a minute to drop my ballot off downtown.
As long as I can get there before the protest starts.