Thursday, July 23, 2020

Nothing worse than going through this shit alone.

F--k me, now more than ever, the days all seem to be the same.

Nothing much stands out from one day to the next, as quarantine (or whatever the f--k we're [somewhat] doing is called ) has essentially eliminated anything even close to special from happening. I don't really go anywhere ever (other than Lowe's to buy paint), and my social life consists of the occasional short conversation with the same five or six people (mostly about going to Lowe's to buy paint). It's just an endless cycle of not much.

But the really weird part? I kind of like it.

Much more than kind of liking, I straight up f--king loved the Hulu-exclusive film, Palm Springs. The latest entry into the burgeoning time loop genre, this charming little flick is an absolute blast from start-to-finish, even if it it ends, uh, basically... where it started?

Andy Samberg fully delivers as Nyles, an initially apathetic dude attending a wedding with his lame girlfriend at a resort in Palm Springs. When we first meet him, Nyles is equal parts The Dude and Yoda, coalescing into the quintessential  enlightened slacker. He doesn't really seem to give a f--k about anything, until he delivers what some will regard as the best wedding toast ever. Wait, this guy's smart? Uh, sort of.

Turns out Nyles has been living someone else's special day over and over again, and he's gotten pretty f--king good at it. So much so, he's actually pretty f--king bored with it. But when he inadvertently gets Sarah, the maid of honor also stuck in the time loop with him, perhaps shockingly, everything is about to change. 

To say much more would likely ruin all the fun, but once Sarah gets in the game, what looked to be a kick ass raunchy comedy, sidesteps into a much more poignant and existential look at love and relationships (while still being consistently hilarious). The time-loop twist turns out to be the perfect metaphor for falling in love, as before Nyles meets the one, everything seems pretty f--king pointless and repetitive, even if it really isn't.

Speaking of pointless and repetitive, here are the Yays and Boos for Palm Springs. Despite being trapped in my house with nothing/everything to do, it's a bit surprising we can't find all that much time to watch any new movies. Check that, finish new movies....

I'm not sure any part of his day will be better than this...

  • Wow, trying to wank it while your girlfriend looks through her luggage is...shockingly admirable
  • Samberg has got some ill moves on the dance floor, right? Right?
  • Today, tomorrow,'s all the same.
  • Holy shit, I almost forgot how much I love J.K. Simmons. Dude's incredible here, even if he (initially) is a murderous prick.
  • The montage of all the sex Nyles has had was tremendous. There were a few curveballs in there, but frankly, you might as well. (the bartender lady was my personal standout)
  • F--k me, but the bit where he keeps copying Misty was amazing. 
  • There's a bomb in the cake!
  • Borderline blasphemy, but, uh...was that a cover of Israel Kamakawwo'ole's Somewhere Over the Rainbow? Risky, but I'm going to allow it....
  • Is there a fork in my face?
  • While it might have peaked at little Joey watering dog shit, as a dad, the scene at Roy's house was something I really needed to see. It's so simple, but also kind of beautiful, and served as a reminder that shit isn't all bad, you know?
  • I love, almost more than anything, the way Sarah pretty much handed this time-loop scenario its own ass. That's some dope shit.
  • I need to end more sentences with emphatic period.
  • And finally, it's probably fairly obvious at this point, but I really, really loved this movie. As much as I wish I would have been able to see this in a theater with my wife, watching it alone on my couch was pretty f--king good, too.

It might look fairly normal, but there's a lot to unpack here.
Like, a lot a lot.

  • How does the maid-of-honor not realize she has a speech to make? C'mon, Sarah...get your shit together, sweetie.
  • Slightly reminiscent of the volleyball scene in Meet the Parents (but infinitely worse), I had to look away when sis breaks her f--king tooth. F--k me, that was brutal. *shudder*
  • From matching outfits to C4, I guess you can find anything in Palm Springs...
  • Wait, is this Jurassic Park now? (sorry, that bit left me...puzzled)
  • I know streaming is where it's at, but when you signal clicks out at the worst possible time, I always (irrationally?) think physical media for life, motherf--kers...and then the wifi works again and I have to put down the matches and oily rags.
  • And finally, maybe it was just me, or maybe it was just two (hundred) thirty in the morning, but, well, I'm not sure I really understood the ending. I mean, I think I did...but I definitely have some questions (mostly about Roy...).

Where I'm sitting right now, in the living room of my new house, there's a decent water stain in the ceiling above me. Turns out, days after moving in, there was a small leak in the toilet in the master bathroom. And now, the largest room I painted, with the paint I got from Lowe's...kind of looks like ass (and we can't use our bathroom). It sucks, and it's been stressing me out whenever I think about it.

But that tiny nightmare was before yesterday, when a f--king tree fell on our old house (which we still own). Now that shit's got me up at night. Can't we just go back to the days where nothing ever happens? Because they're the best, right?

I like those.


  1. That tree picture was scary. I had a house fire late last year (we got very lucky and didn't lose everything) but I just cringe every time I think of major damage done to houses now. It's such a pain in the ass.

    I liked this too. I unapologetically love the bitchy girlfriend in this. Her scenes were just so damn funny.

    1. Ah, shit - it was scary, but thankfully the damage seems fairly...minor? At this point, the house is baiscally vacant, so no real worries, I suppose. As for you? A house fire? That's horrible!! I can't even imagine...

      Hahahaha....his girlfriend was pretty hysterical. I loved her voice so much, not to mention just how horrible she was! With you on her, fully.

  2. Great review! I enjoyed this one too, it was easy and fun. And I love that Sarah kicked the time-loop's ass!

    1. Thanks, AW! I haven't been watching many films at all this summer, so this one really, really got me. I friggin' loved it and found it shockingly...deep? Might've picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...

      Yeah, she really did. A lot like Tree did in Happy Death Day, if I remember correctly...

  3. I haven't seen it yet so I will have to return to this review some day in the future. Don't want to spoil it for myself. Hopefully I'll enjoy it too. :)

    1. Please do...both! Definitely check it out...and, uh, you know...come back here..perhaps?

  4. Sorry to hear about that tree. At least damage isn't major???

    Wasn't expecting to like this movie but I really did. And yes to anything J.K. Simmons.

    1. Thanks, Dell. The damage wasn't too too bad. It cost $300 bucks to remove the tree...but the fence is f--ked. Oh well.
      I liked it a lot, man...and JK is always perfect. Stoked to see him here.

  5. I want to be as happy as that kid was while watering shit.

    A TREE? Jesus Christ

    1. Don't we all??!!

      Yeah, it was a pretty big f--ker too. Potentially a sign that it was time to go...but, uh, now my divorced parents are living in it.