Saturday, December 22, 2012

Not everything has to be a big deal

Our dog, Dodger, was a rescue. When he was three years old, he ended up in the hands of a lady working for an agency who fostered dogs transitioning to new homes. Her generosity spiraled out of control, and she ended up with twenty-two dogs, our future pup being one of them. This odd story was on the table when we adopted Dodge, but at the time, it didn't seem like a big deal.
Well, it turns out that living with dozens of others under the control of someone who initially meant well, but waded into f--king madness, isn't exactly the best place to spend one's formative years. Let's just say, those affected might show up on your doorstep one day with a few...quirks.

Elizabeth Olsen is completely mesmerizing as the lead in 2011's Martha Marcy May Marlene. I thought she was easily the best part of the shit-tastic Silent House [review], but clearly, that isn't saying much. In this flick, she gets to do more than peer into the darkness in a low cut shirt. Well, come to think of it, she's still peering into the darkness, just not literally. And as for that shirt? Well, it's not low cut this time. At least when it's on, anyway.Yowza.

Now complimenting Olsen and her fantastic performance, is a well-told story of a young girl who has lost her way. For whatever actual reason (the death of her mother the likely culprit), Martha found herself living in a commune with a bunch of people who are off the grid. What appears to be a pretty harmonious group of hippies, is actually a cult full of miscreants. You need proof that shit ain't right? Well, the leader of this clan is played by the frighteningly awesome John Hawkes.

Oh man, Hawkes absolutely nails it (among other things) yet again. He's incredibly charismatic and for a minute you think sure, I could live with this guy, but then the inevitable crazy sets in. Hawkes' Patrick is a sick f--k, and no matter how many acoustic serenades he sends your way, everybody in his vicinity needs to make like Martha and get the f--k out of Dodge, asap.

Speaking of Dodge, let me wrap up this post with the Yays, Boos, and a little comparison between Martha and my crazy pup. Makes sense, right? Screw you and play along.

  • The tension. Whether it's a flashback, or what's going on currently, it's so thick. So uncomfortable. The gun scene, anyone?
  • Though, those flashbacks really help explain why she's hopelessly f--ked up.
  • One of the scarier lines in the flick: He only has boys. Dude.
  • I've already said it, but Hawkes is so good. He's the Obi-Wan of hillbilly mindf--king. 
  • And for you salacious types, the nudity. It's great, even though it's never good. I looked away. Afterward.
  • Every single other female at the farm. Bitches, the whole lot.
  • The home invasion scene really bothered me. I thought it was going to be okay for a sec, but no dice. Shudder.
  • I'm not sure if I want to include this, but the ending. I watched it three times in a row and I'm still not exactly sure what the Hell happened.
 Martha and Dodge both...
  • Will hesitate when escaping, because they know better.
  • Are incredibly awkward around people.
  • Are prone to sleeping on the floor, even if a comfy bed is available.
  • Have weird eating habits. She's never hungry and he brings his food to whatever room people are in and spits it all over the floor before consuming.
  • Can be jealous of new additions to the house.
  • Have ruined a party with their less-than-civil behavior.
  • Occasionally have accidents. By that I mean, piss on the floor.
  • Will climb into a bed that currently has two adults tending to business.
Whoa. Did it just get awkward in here? Hell, wouldn't be the first time. I should do something honorable and respectable to make up for that.

Guess I'll go take my dog for a walk. And not just pretend to pick up after him.


  1. The dog is beautiful! The thing with him sleeping on the floor is odd though, my dog has slept in every bed in the house and he actually alternates during the night :)

    I liked the movie but I found it to be a little overrated. That said, Olsen was amazing and the film did a great job with showing her paranoia. I think the ending suggested she will always be haunted and never feel safe again.

    As great as Olsen was, Hawkes totally stole the show for me!

    1. Thanks. Well, you got me on the floor thing. That was a stretch, as Dodger is much more apt to sleep in the exact spot where my body goes. My wife's side? Oh that's hers. My side? Up for grabs.

      I don't know what the critical stance is, but I liked it. It might've made a top 20 list in my book, depending on how I felt that particular day.

      Olsen was very solid, but John Hawkes is the f--king man.

      Solid theory on the ending...but there was a guy sort of peering into the car as they passed. One of them?

    2. I think the point of that was to put us in her mindset - you know, she will be wondering all her life whether people who look at her aren't one of those freaks.