Boner Garage loves it.

My new job does not require me to speak. If I wanted to, I could probably go the full eight to twelve hours without saying a word. The other night, I stood there listening to two people drone on about oil changes when the conversation shifted to movies. I left my happy place and listened intently as each of them discussed the movies they had recently watched and loved. Even though neither person seemed to have similar tastes to mine (much of the conversation dealt with how great the Fast and the Furious movies are), I decided to quietly check out one of their overwhelming recommendations. That movie is funny as shit!

We're the Millers is funny as shit, it's true, but as a father of an infant, shit ain't that funny. At best, it's mildly amusing. At worst, it's a mess that I'd rather never deal with again.

Though it may appear to be another tired road flick initially, We're the Millers is more of a fish-out-of-water comedy. The plot concerns itself with a small time drug dealer, David (Jason Sudeikis), heading to Mexico to score a large amount of pot in order to pay off a debt. In order to evade detection, David hires a group of f--k ups to pose as his decidedly average family in hopes of avoiding major scrutiny at the border. Stupid? Sure. But for a comedy these days, it's at least serviceable, if not even borderline inspired. 

It's quite possible that I was in a shitty mood, but it's more likely the movie simply isn't as hilarious as some will make it out to be (that jerk I work with included). There are definitely some good laughs, and the cast is pretty solid, but at the end of the day it's yet another comedy getting by with f-bombs and dick shots. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Jason Sudeikis, as he has proved for years on SNL, is a very funny guy. So far, however, his theatrical career hasn't really let him loose, outside of a few scenes in the very solid Horrible Bosses [review]. This role may be his biggest yet, I'm just not sure it's his best. Jennifer Aniston has also been very hot-or-miss for years, and she's at least decent here (and hot as ever). The real star though, is Will Pouter, who plays the misguided virgin, Kenny. Poulter provides the film with most of its big laughs, and whatever bit of sincere heart it may have. Emma Roberts is also in this, but no one really gives a shit about her character.

Speaking of not giving a shit, let's gas up the RV and head to Mexico with the Yays and Boos. Better yet, let's just make fun of stuff on the way to Taco Bell. 

Yaaaaaay!

• Shocking no one, I have never done drugs, but if I ever do I'm starting with Alaskan Thunderf--k. Wait? That's real? Laaaame.
• Even though I consider laughing at bits from the previews a major Boo, I'm going to still throw hearty Yays at a) Sudeikis' Bane voice and b) Poulter losing his mind in TLC's Waterfalls. I knew they were coming and they still cracked me up.
• Been trying to nail down my favorite line from this movie for a few days. I'm going with F--k off, real-life Flanders and Pretend it's a girl's dick! Though, We've all seen a dick was pretty clutch, too.
• But the best moment had to be either the incestuous three-way or when Aniston throws her 'baby' into the road. Neither of those made any sense at all, but were the right kind of ridiculous.
• I've gone far too long without mentioning the brilliance of Scottie P. Kind of a poor-man's Jason Mewes, this goofy f--ker was pretty funny in his own right. You have to support anyone rockin' the Monkey Maze. Have to.
• And finally, in the only moment I actually watched twice, let me stand and cheer for Jason Sudeikis breaking the fourth wall at the best possible moment. He pulled a similar move in Horrible Bosses though they bitched out put it into the credits. Not here.

I think Gunther, if still alive, just jizzed in his pants.

Boooooo!

• Shocking no one, I've never been a fan of the ol' strip club where no one takes their clothes off. 
• No signal! I don't care. Even in a stupid comedy this is an inexcusable plot device.
• Ed Helms. His douchey-guy routine is wearing thin.
• I love coming in halfway to a random conversation, but the whole shallow vagina story wasn't funny. 
• But if we're going to sink to those depths, can we please avoid those awful tender moments that attempt to make the movie real? I'll take shallow vag jokes or actual human enotions all day, as long as you don't mix the two, okay?
• And finally, the ending. Do we really have to set every single f--king movie up for a sequel? C'mon now. Can any moderately successful flick call it at one? Please? 

So, I ended up talking to that guy about We're the Millers the other day and he totally backed down from his high-praise from before. He changed his mind, like five times, and started talking in circles about a bunch of shit that had nothing to do with the movie at all. What a dick.

I mean, who does that?