Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.

Possibly as you read this, my eighth grade honors Communication Arts (fancy, no?) class is reading The Diary of Anne Frank. Somewhat mercifully, I've been given the play version (with accompanying pictures of Natalie Portman as Anne) to work with, which means it won't take months for us to complete. But, that also means that the students will read the entire thing aloud. Waiting for That Kid to yet again realize it's his turn has me losing kids by the page. Surprisingly, I've been blessed with an unexpected ally to engage the enemy my students: Brad Pitt.

Fury, written and directed by David Ayer, is the perfect film - assuming you're a middle school boy. While the fourteen year-old version of m.brown would have likely loved this film, the grown up version merely liked it. Maybe even more than a friend.

Set near the end of World War II, Pitt plays Don, the hardened leader of a veteran tank outfit. Don's motley crew has seen it all, and newcomer Norman is overwhelmingly the odd-man out. In fact, Norman's first responsibility is to clean up the remains of the man he's replacing, which may be the easiest thing he does that day.

As Norman gets acclimated to the atrocities of war, Don takes the kid under his wing as they head into the heart of the shit. It seems as if the entire crew hates Norman, or at the very least resents him mightily. But after a few intense battles and close-calls, all is quickly forgiven. Norman is part of the team.

Pitt may be on the poster, but Logan Lerman (playing Norman) is the pulse of the film. While the trials and tribulations of being the reluctant rookie surrounded by barbaric veterans feels like nothing new, I was engaged in the story regardless. I'm not sure Fury has anything new to say, but it all moved fast enough I really didn't mind lending an ear. I understand how my eighth graders loved it, as it sometimes feels like an introduction to the war genre.


If only you were meeting the Yays and Boos for the first time, you might not know how stupid they are. Fine, they're not stupid-stupid, but they're not exactly the first ones you run to when you need answers, you know? Hmm...that's exactly how I'd classify 99% of my eighth grade boys, oddly enough...

Yaaaaaay!

• While the level of violence, in my opinion, manages to be overstated and frivolous (an odd mix, I realize), it's jarring nonetheless. Remember that guy in The Patriot who got his head blown off by a cannonball? Well...he's got company. In Sudden Movie Decapitation Heaven.
• Shia! Dude, I had pretty much given up on this guy after Nymphomaniac and his weird performance-art bullshit a few years back (I'm not even mentioning a certain trilogy he was a part of) I honestly felt like he had stolen something from me. But after his role here? We're totally even-steven.
• There's a bit where they liberate this German town that is pretty f--king intense. Too bad that guy with the busted wing couldn't have stayed a little longer.
• Even though the majority of minutes spent with her are impossibly uncomfortable, Emma was a beautiful young woman. Norman the mad fat chick-killer.
• That tank v. tank battle was the right kind of ridiculous.
• And finally, characterization. Initially, I loathed the ragtag crew of the Fury, as everyone outside of Don and Norman was involved in a photo-finish for Douche of the Year. Eventually, however, each guy turned into not only someone that I liked, but someone that I understood. 

Boooooooo!

• Norman's initial hesitation, while understandable, is heart-breaking.
• Killing an unarmed soldier? Awful.
• Norman's nickname is Machine. Clearly that has nothing to do with his sexual prowess, unless he was built for speed.
• I kind of mentioned it earlier, but the momentary beauty of brunch with Emma (pictured to the left) is one of the hardest things to watch in this film. Trust me...that's saying something. (f--king Grady!)
• Gordo's story about the horses. Shit.
• Was this the longest day ever?
• Speaking of things lasting beyond an acceptable point, let me say that the ending is 900% ridiculous. Yes, I know it's supposed to be heroic and brave and all that shit, but c'mon, now. The German soldiers outnumbered them by 295 and couldn't pull together a winning strategy till they'd lost probably 80% of their own? Sorry. Not buying it.
• And finally, the very end. How do you say Norman in German? 'Cause that guy....

Full disclosure, I rented Fury to end the daily version of this conversation: Have you seen Fury, Mr. Brown? Have you seen Fury? Mr. Brown? Mr. Brown? Fury? Did you see it?

And when I finally had those students again, do you think that they even cared that I had seen the film? Not really, as there was now something else I had to see. 

So, there's this dress, right?