Monday, March 11, 2019

I'm more of a Keaton guy myself.

Turns out, everything was awesome.

I don't even know exactly how long it's been since I took the kids to see The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part, but that damn catchy-ass song from Rent seems about right. Uh, I think. Anyway, while not necessarily five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, it's been a long time regardless. And honestly, being that I really didn't give a damn about the movie the second I left the theater, it's been exceedingly hard to give a damn about writing the review. But here goes.

And at the end of the first LEGO Movie [review], the father and son had reconciled their brick-based differences, and were now seeing eye-to-eye on how to play with LEGOs (dad was a normal person, who wanted them built once, the right way, then glued forever, while the son, clearly under the direction of Satan, thought it was more fun to just build whatever you want). The catch, and there's always a catch, is that the sister was now allowed to play, and she was bringing her whack-ass Duplos to the table. Got it? Good/who cares.

When the sequel gets going, things in LEGO-land have gone to Hell, and it appears the sister is taking pieces and doing whatever the Hell she wants with them. Some of the gang is kidnapped, and taken to this weird place that kind of resembles a little girl's room. Shocking no one, the haplessly nice Emmet it left to save the day. Wait, the timid guy needs to step up and save the day? What a novel idea? Heck, it's so good, THEY PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE USED IT IN THE FIRST ONE.

Speaking of endings that have been done before, here are the Yays and Boos. If this entire post feels like I'm going through the motions, well, it would seem like there's a lot of that going around lately. Isn't that right, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part?

Needless to say, we now own one of those LEGO raptors.
(and sometimes I let my kids touch it)

  • I'm sure better examples exist, but this one goes full Karate Kid and picks up immediately after the events of the first one, which is always a plus in my book.
  • An Aquaman cameo? Yes, please. But even better? Gary Payton, Velma, and a certain barefooted cop prone to crawling around duct work...
  • Cash grab or not, I was a big fan of the rage-version of Unikitty, Ultrakitty. And knowing that Alison Brie provides her voice? Me-owww.
  • Soundtrack Hall of Fame alert: Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue makes an appearance, and I'm here for it.
  • The only thing better than raptors, are, quite obviously, raptors on a half-pipe.
  • That spa place was pretty rad, even if it's littered with sparkly vampires.
  • In both the original LEGO Movie and even more so in The LEGO Batman Movie, Batman is nothing short of amazing. Here, it's more of the same. His verse on the one song was, well, awesome.
  • Maya Rudolph kicks, uh, lots of butt, playing Mom who has had enough. 
  • Rex Dangervest is essentially the cooler version of Emmet, which is great as is, but the fact that most of Dangervest's credentials are based on previous Pratt roles? Straight magic.
  • And finally, even if it's because I was more than ready to leave, I still loved the end credits so much. Any time spent with The Lonely Island is the best time.
Didn't like movie...but still pre-ordered the 4k disc...
(and yes, that's a Boo)
  • Those little heart things were so adorable. In fact, too adorable if I'm honest.
  • Pretty sure that Pratt's version of extreme masculinity is just a bad/awesome impression of Kurt Russell...
  • I was all about stepping on LEGOs as the worst thing in the world, years before it was cool. Uh huh, I just claimed common idiocy as something I proudly invented.
  • Armamageddon is putting it nicely. Don't piss off mom, kids. It won't end well.
  • (though, to be honest, if angering my wife meant she'd actually put old toys away I'd be an even bigger a-hole to her)
  • I might be the last guy on the planet still down with Tiffany Haddish's shtick. Check that. I might have been the last guy...
  • Pretty sure we could have used a little more Benny (Charlie Day), MetalBeard (Nick Offerman) and Unikitty, you know? Maybe a little less Emmet and Lucy, perhaps?
  • Oh, and while were on it, General Mayhem was kind of a bummer, too. She looked way cooler than she was...
  • I think I said this last time, but my God, these damn kids have a lot of LEGOs. I'm all for buying a set here and there, sure, but I'm also a fan of paying my bills and having some money in the bank (and by some I mean barely any for a reasonable adult).
  • And finally, is it me, or was this movie, as colorful as it was, kinda boring? Maybe I was just tired (I did start to nod at one point), but for whatever reason, this entire affair felt like work. Arduous work. Even my wife, clearly someone who's okay with decidedly mediocre, even she gave me the this is exhausting look during the movie at one point. I'd like to say maybe we were up late the night before doing, uh, stuff, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case. 

If there has been one overwhelming positive to come from this movie, my daughter has since become obsessed with LEGOs. While it was kind of my dream many years ago to build LEGOs wiff muh boy, turns out he's not the biggest fan of the Danish doo-dads. But my little girl? She can't get enough. But even better? She likes to build them all by herself.


*whispering while doing/anything something in silence* Everything is awesome...


  1. It's not just you, this was boring as hell. I could not wait to leave the theater whereas I loved every minute of the first Lego Movie.

    1. Um, yes to everything you just said. The first one was soooooo good. But this? So lame. I'd rather eat a handful of LEGOs than to have to see this again.

      I think my kids liked it, though. Those jerks.

  2. You know you're a parent when you start mentally adding up the cost of all the Lego! Those are some hella lucky kids.

    1. For. REAL.

      These damn kids are rolling in it. I bought three sets for my kids the other day, which cost me like, fifty bucks and I felt completely out of control. But damn, that Pizza Truck is cool as Hell...

      (you've got a long way to go till you're buying LEGOs, right???)

  3. Oh no, Chris Pratt's movie flopped? :D What a tragedy ^^