Tuesday, March 19, 2019

That's what scientists do.

If there's any person on the planet that knows the feeling of living the same f--king day over and over again, it's a parent. I know you young a-holes out there have your own daily grind, but trust me, until you have kids (that have to be places at seemingly every hour of every day), you have no idea how impossibly repetitive an existence can seem.

So maybe, one weekend, you mix it up, you know? You drop the kids off at your mom's house, and you go see a horror movie on a Sunday afternoon. Maybe you could use a good scare, right?  Just to mix things up.

Uh, about that...

Being that I didn't want to see Happy Death Day 2U alone, and also that I'm not (yet) That Guy that takes way too young kids to horror movies (what's with these dudes?) I needed a wingman. So after badgering her endlessly, my wife not only caught up with the first one [review], but then Mrs. Two Dollar Cinema even provided me with fairly solid recap of the first one. Sweet.

If you don't know, in the first flick, sexy-ass Tree (as in Teresa?) was stuck in a time-loop, where she was dying in hilarious fashion over and over... and over again. Good thing she solved the mystery, and moved on with her, uh, life.

Well, it was, until she wakes up, yet again, in this sequel, somehow back in the infinite f--king death loop again. But she ain't even close to being disappointed about this, no. She's f--king furious.

This time, and stay with me here, instead of reliving the same day again and again, Tree (and her tight-knit squad) is reliving a different version of the same day again and again. If only I could embed the Tom-from-Blink WTF gif right here...

Turns out, Tree's (eventual) boyfriend's...roommate...is a bit of a science nerd and has been developing a, you guessed it, quantum reactor, nearby on campus. And instead of being sucked back into the same day, Tree's been sucked back into the same day...in a parallel universe. 

Go ahead. Hurry up. Pick up those eyes that just rolled right the f--k out of your head. Aw, jeez. At least wipe them off on your shirt first...

So many questions...that simply don't matter.
Look, I'm with you, this sounds stupid as f--k, and likely is, but with the dynamic duo of lead Jessica Rothe and returning director Christopher Landon, it's also so f--king good, too. Together, they've created this impossibly cool little genre-spanning universe that the more I think about, the more I dig. Yes, this sequel doesn't have the benefit of freshness that the original did, but there's something about catching up with old friends that I can get behind. And let's be honest, any time with Rachel Matthews' Danielle is the best time.

Danielle, showing off her, um, school spirits.
Speaking of always showing off a great set, let's repeat the day with the Yays and Boos, shall we? We've been in a bit of a movie-watching rut lately, but we did manage to watch all of oddly timely Netflix's Sex Education.  Wait, what? What more could a father of two still need to learn about sex. Uh, about that...

Not only does she have a bat, but she's also got balls.
  • Whether it was reverse engineered or fully considered beforehand, dig the explanations about power outages.
  • For a minute I thought we were gonna spend an entire film stuck in Ryan's loop. Nope. They figure that shit out real fast.
  • If the point of a mascot is to energize the fans, this f--ker is terrible. But if it's to get in the head of the opposing team? Brilliant.
  • Ryan swinging that wrench was so bad it looked like an outtake. Which is f--king awesome.
  • Okay, so this whole different dimension angle? Well, there's something pretty frickin' huge that I didn't see coming. Awwwww.
  • I'm not sure if I'm overstating it, but finally seeing Tree wearing a different outfit made me feel alive.
  • Fine, the competition is pretty slim, but it's safe to say that this flick is home to the best suicide montage ever. While I'd like to vote for the headfirst dive into woodchipper, pretty sure bikini skydiving wins in a landslide.
  • Carter quite possibly lands the biggest pimp move in the history of cinema. Dude. Duuuude.
  • A clearly marked SUBSTATION should be a Boo. But it's not.
  • Low-key MVP of Happy Death Day 2U? Dean Guy! Steve Zissis is f--king hysterical.
  • I've already mentioned her, but can we clap again for Danielle? Eventually, we're gonna have to just embrace the madness and laugh our asses off at her whole blind French woman routine. It's so ridiculously silly, I couldn't help but smile. And uh, it doesn't hurt she's beyond sexy.
  • That was a pretty long piss, was it not?
  • And finally, the director of this flick, Christopher Landon, is also responsible for the totally underrated Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse [review]. And when I threw him some love on Twitter, he took a second to write me back. So, yeah. I officially love this dude. (and will sacrifice countless goats if it means we get the teased third flick in the series)
Of all the things you could possibly choose, who goes BABY?
  • When buying tickets, the lady behind me, ended up next to me. Like, at what age do you forget line etiquette (old people always bear down on you, right?). But worse? She shouts to her husband (who's also flanking me), Happy Death Day? Who'd see that? It sounds horrible. I can only imagine her old face as I announce two tickets for...
  • Maybe it will make sense on the re-watch, but that big reveal early on...was a bit...confusing?
  • I love Tree/Rothe, but good God, there was a point I was afraid that scowl was permanent. 
  • Good thing this hospital floor is not only under obvious construction, but the construction workers were in such a hurry to leave, they couldn't put their sledgehammers away. 
  • I want to feel good for calling it, but it was totally obvious (s)he was gonna die wasn't it? Can't you just let me feel smart for a minute?
  • I swear I wasn't crying, you guys. I just had something...in my heart. (it was a knife)
  • In terms of the (almost) ending, nope. Not buying that shit in the least.
  • Nor am I buying the complete lack of security in this f--king hospital, either.
  • And finally, my wife and I both left the theater thinking Tree is such a cool name. Me, because it is, but my wife, because it's a cooler version/abbreviation of Theresa, which was her grandmother's name. And why is this a Boo exactly? Uh, about that... (but we already named our other two kids after movie characters for f--k's sake, so just stop it)
For my wife and I, Happy Death Day 2U will always live in infamy. Not necessarily for what happened on screen (though we both liked it), but more so what happened off. And not in like a behind the scenes way, either. More of a, production story, if that makes sense. Oh, don't worry. Everything's okay. But for a minute, depending on how you look at things, everything wasn't. At least not really.

Unless, of course, you're a fan of living the same day over and over again.


  1. Wait did you guys had a pregnancy scare? :)

    So things Mario does:
    1. Watch an ENTIRE season of a TV series
    2, tweet love at stangers

    And things Mario doesnt do:
    1. Watch movies I recommed
    2. Comment love for me

    My loop is clearly being ignored day after day lol

    1. Ummmmm.......yes. It was awesome.

      1) occasionally, especially if it's hilarious (and short)
      2) apparently?

      1) not true (and I have proof)
      2) also not true (though I, uh....don't have A LOT of proof)

      How about this, after US, I will finally watch that one movie you've been yelling at me to watch for years.... you know the one. With the guy. Doing the stuff.

    2. This could literally be anything lol but for years? Gotta be "in the Loop"

  2. Is Two Dollar Cinema #3 on the way?!

    I'll definitely catch this on DVD since the first one is so fun and unlike you, I can't get my spouse to see this in theaters with me. lol

    1. We thought so...for a minute...but no dice. I was kind of excited/terrified...but the alarm was false. (which is probably good, because I'm so old)

      It's probably not theater worthy, but I still had fun with it. And the fact that my wife was with me made it all the better. Your husband needs a kick in the ass! C'mon, dude. Get with it.

      (I was going to try to trick her into seeing Us, but she's terrified of the trailer)

  3. Now imagine what a great story that would have been to tell #3!
    I'm pumped to see this movie. I watched the original last weekend after finally being convinced it wasn't really a horror movie. This Sunday I'll either be pissing/crying in the cinema watching Us, or be a wimp at home watching Happy Death Day 2 U!

    1. Well, at this rate, it's going to have to be different story...because I'm 99% sure we're in the clear. I think.

      If you liked the first one, I can't imagine that you'll not have a good time with part two.

      I'm actually headed to Us tomorrow night, so I'll be pissing/crying right there with you.

      Uhhh...kind of like a baby, right?

  4. Ohh damn I missed this one. I thought the original was pretty funny. Damn you, now I have to wait

    1. I think this one might be a little bit funnier than the first, you know? Why do you have to wait? Do it, man. NOW.

  5. Bikini skydiving, what a great way to go!