Sunday, June 17, 2012

Leaving the zoo was the best thing that ever happened to us.

It's very late, and I am hours removed from a ten-hour drive from South Carolina to where I live in Pennsylvania. Supposedly, we were on a vacation - but somehow I'm more exhausted than when we left. Going to the beach for a week is an odd thing. We stayed in a condo, and day after day saw and interacted with the same people. There was Ohio Larry, who might just be a professional at beach-going. I met Big Fat Guy from Boston, who had to tell me how much the Red Sox do indeed suck. We ended up spending way too much time with a family from North Carolina, Robbie and his wife Ashley, and their two cute kids, Jackson and Caroline. And finally, not from Ohio, not fat at all, and definitely not parents, were The Sisters. Two young (hopefully college age) girls that did nothing but lay around in the skimpiest of bikinis for no less than ten hours a day. One being impossibly hot, the other looking exactly like Tom from blink-182. Seeing the same characters over and over again can get annoying, but sometimes, it actually adds to the fun.

On Thursday night, my wife and I took our young son to see Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted. The slightest mention of afro circus would send my son into a giggling frenzy, so we knew this would be a winner. On top of that, we have Madagascar 2 on blu ray and have probably watched it twenty times. He likes the young cub version of Alex in the beginning and I almost soil myself every time Moto Moto shows up. It may not be funny out of context (or, at all), but just YouTube it or something. Hysterical.

It's not just those two either. This universe has launched a slew of solid characters. From Alex the Lion (Stiller) and Marty the Zebra (Rock) to the Penguins and their awesome leader - Dreamworks has created a stable of funny animals. The third flick adds a few more, too - though the standouts are the T-1000esque Animal Control officer (McDormand) and the intellectually average sea lion (Short). Shockingly, for me, these characters resonate right near the top of animated flicks. Blasphemy? Perhaps.



Anyway, these characters in the Madagascar flicks are a lot like the beach people I mentioned. Whether I wanted them to or not, they've simply grown on me. Some, it was completely welcome, others basically wore me down. Chaotic and stupid? Sure. But charming and good-natured? Well, yeah. Those too.

As for the flick, it's like any third movie. If you enjoy the first two, you're going to like this one as well. If you haven't seen any of these and are annoyed by the previews, please keep it moving. I honestly don't know why critics (which I clearly am not) even bother to review these. Seriously, is anyone on the fence here? Ooh, A-hole McGee @ CleverMovieReference.com gave it an 'indifferent shrug' so I guess I'm going to save my money. It's the third Madagascar flick. The. Third. The plot is irrelevant. Saying it doesn't make sense or moves too quickly should warrant you nothing but a kick in the cannonballs.

Okay, I've lost it. I'm probably delirious from an epic drive filled with few Yays and lots of Boos (where my mom and wife were um, at odds). I'm going to break this one down quickly, are-all-families-dysfunctional? style.

Yaaaaaaaaaay!
  • The animation keeps getting better. Good stuff.
  • Stefano the Sea Lion! This guy is so great. I loved his constant weird smile and head nodding. Reminded me of someone I work with. Oh, and Martin Short, who can be rather annoying, provided some stellar voice work here.
  • Fix it, Mort.
  • Creepy French Lady, Chantel DuBois, was awesome. This lady punches snakes. That's not a dirty euphemism. That's literal.
  • I loved it when Cedric the Entertainer's character smiled. That was pretty funny. Too bad.
  • How do you make The Matrix bullet shell scene even cooler? Bananas.
  • Tricycle Bear is equal parts scary and kickass.
  • American Promoter Guy actually has a bald eagle on his arm. Awesome.
  • Dude. This movie moves quickly. I actually enjoyed how they didn't even bother to explain half the stuff that happened. If that bothers you, you should probably just go live under a bridge.
  • The circus scene is frickin' great. As is the finale. And Afro Circus.
Boooo!
  • Too many previews! We foolishly took little man to an 8:55 showing and that sucker didn't start till 9:20! Ridiculous! (that also applies to our parenting choices, too)
  • I bet the 3D was incredible. I'll never know.
  • Any Melman might be too much Melman. Sorry, Ross.
  • Dire lack of Moto Moto.
BOTTOM LINE: This movie is colorful, loud, and highly entertaining. It moves too quickly and we staggered home exhausted. Oh, and it's full of obnoxious (though beautiful) animals. Hmm. Exactly like a week in Myrtle Beach.

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