Saturday, August 4, 2012

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

This ridiculous blog has been recognized by two quality sites, cinematic corner. and flixploitation. The fine folks at these fellow movie blogs have foolishly decided to award Two Dollar Cinema with something known as the Liebster Award.

Here are the guidelines, as completely stolen from Sati @ cinematic corner.
  1. Tell us 11 things about yourself
  2. Answer 11 questions the blogger who awarded you asked
  3. Pass the award to 11 people
  4. Give them 11 questions.
  5. Tell them about the award.
  6. Don't award people who are recipients already.
  7. Give all parties involved a sensual massage.

Okay, rule #7 was made up. Deep breath. Here goes...
1. Despite the poor quality of the writing on this site, I'm actually an English teacher. 
2. The first movie I took my wife to when we were dating was The Legend of Bagger Vance. Romantic, right? She fell asleep. I wish I had.
3. Growing up in Hawai'i, the movie theater was about 30 miles away and it was utterly terrible. Still went every weekend though.
4. I legitimately auditioned to be an extra in Waterworld. It was completely terrible and embarrassing. Much like this blog, actually.
5. I saw Me, Myself & Irene with Geena Davis. Fine, we didn't go together, but she was in the theater. She was behind us in line, too.
6. I've saved every ticket stub I've ever got since Batman in 1989. Sad/Awesome.
7. My older brother thinks I have terrible taste in movies. His reason? I didn't love I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. This is a true story.
8. When I was on a school field trip to Washington D.C, my friend and I sneaked out to see Double Team. Shit, maybe my brother is right.
9. In my youth, I was an obnoxious prick in the theater - always trying to crack up my friends. Now, I'm pretty much silent. Probably because I see most flicks alone.
10. Like many of you, I studied film in college. I just don't take it that seriously.
11. I started this blog as an almost journal for my son, nothing else. He'll be three at the end of this month. Hopefully, he'll read this when he's older and think that his Dad wasn't the serious jerk that's always yelling at him to pick up his toys. Those weird first paragraphs? Those are for him.

Here are the 11 super-difficult questions posed by the super-talented Sati at cinematic corner.
1. What is your favorite movie scene? This is ridiculous, but I die every time I see the scene in The Big Lebowski when The Dude tries to do a little detective work at Jackie Treehorn’s house.  I also was awed by the final scene in Fight Club. Everything was perfect. Oh, and the elevator scene in Drive
2. You favorite performance? This is insanely difficult (I cheated in the last one). I was going to go with Jeff Bridges as The Dude, everyone in The Green Mile, or Ewan MacGregor in Big Fish, but I think that Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood is so f—king epic, I’m pretty much obligated.
3. Movie character that is most similar to you? Easy, Christian Bale in The Machinist. No, I have no idea. I'll go with George Clooney in The Descendants. He's quietly overwhelmed.
4. Favorite movie quote? Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet. 
5. What is one movie where you would change actual director/actor/actress for someone else? Can I take Harrison Ford out of the fourth Indiana Jones so that it doesn't get made?
6. What is the first film you saw? Technically, Alien. But the first one I actually I remember seeing and loving was Gremlins. I loved Stripe, even though he scared the shit out of me.
7. Would you change any charcter's fate? If so, whose and for what? Sure. I'd help out Clint at the end of Gran Torino. That was no way to go down.
8. Your favorite track from a movie soundtrack? I had a radio show in college where we only played soundtrack music, and we would debate this all the time. It's too new, but I'll take “I’m shipping up to Boston” from The Departed. It just edges out “Layla” from Goodfellas. And the entire Pulp Fiction soundtrack.
9. What book would you like to see adapted for screen? Under the Dome by Stephen King. 
10. Favorite guilty pleasure movie? Tie. Beerfest or Anaconda.
11. Favorite trailer? This is easy. Seeing the trailer for Jarhead in a theater was so badass. The bass in “Jesus Walks” was overpowering. Presented the movie in a different light, though.
These are the 11 tough questions from Branden at the kickass Flixpoitation.

1. What is the one movie that you have seen you wished you could erase from your memory? Mad Money. Apparently, there was a time in my life where I simply had nothing else to do other than have someone shit in my eyes for 104 minutes. At least my wife was with me.
2. What is a movie that everyone loves that you hate? Hate's too strong, but I'll go with MI:4. I thought it was laughably bad.
3.  Have you ever walked out of a movie? Never. But I've fallen sound asleep twice.
4.  What is your biggest pet peeve? As far as the movie-going experience, I’d say people who arrive late (and then shockingly, can’t shut the Hell up during the movie) or those who bring little kids to woefully inappropriate flicks. Leave 'em home, or stay there with them. In the blogging world? Pasted comments. I'd rather you call me an idiot than to simply treat me like one.
5. What actor or actress you think is underrated? Maybe not underrated, but underexposed definitely, Ben Foster. That guy’s incredible.
6.  What is your routine when reviewing a movie? At home, a pen and a spiral notebook. Theater? My cell phones memo app. Unless it’s crowded, then I put that shit away. 
7. What movie do you wish you'd have seen in the theater? Red Cliff. Only because I don't have the time to start it at my house. And by time I mean balls, naturally.
8. A movie that you loved as a kid and you didn't like as an adult? I've got nothing. My favorites are are either still really good, or they remind me of being a dumb kid, which is awesome.
9. If you could live inside of movie, which one would it be? I want to say any Wes Anderson, but I’ll go with The Royal Tenenbaums. I like movies that have huge dysfunctional families that actually get together. I can’t remember the last time all of us were in the same room. 
10. The first movie you remembering seeing? Since I kind of already answered this, how about this worthless anecdote? I don’t remember actually watching them, but I remember going to a triple feature when I was 5. The first movie was Witness, up next was The Breakfast Club, and I don’t think I stayed awake for whatever the third one was.
11. Gun to your head: would you watch Uwe Boll's entire filmography or Michael Bay's? This is a layup. I go Boll, no doubt. Sadly, I've already suffered through many of Bay's giant turds.

There's no way I can pass this monstrous burden award to 11 other blogs, so I'll go Michigan-style and take a Fab Five. In no particular order:
Ethan Unscripted
Banana Scoop

Good luck, kids. Here are my 11 brain busters...
  1. What made you start your blog?
  2. Have you ever seen a movie more than once in the theater? Explain.
  3. Tell me the actor/actress and the certain role they played that made them your favorite.
  4. If I thought movies were a waste of time, what would you show me to change my mind?
  5. What's the best animated film of all time?
  6. Front row, back row, or right in the middle?
  7. Desert Island Time. You get one movie and one soundtrack. And Hell, if you want to, you get an actor or actress, too. Let's hear it.
  8. What's the scariest movie experience you've ever had?
  9. You are given the power to completely erase the existence of one film. What are you picking?
  10. Who would be on the Mt. Rushmore of Action Heroes?
  11. And finally, have you ever clapped at the end of a movie? Really?


  1. Thanks for the award, just thinking about my answer now.

    Interesting answers you have there. I tried saving the ticket stub when I was younger, but it lasted around a year and a half before I thought it wasn't worth it.

    1. You have a very cool site. And I will forever be indebted to you for showing me that trailer of Robot. That officially was the most ridiculously awesome thing I have ever seen.

  2. The puppy who lost its way. Awesome. I will return your gracious award giving by answering these questions and such. And thank you very much for the award. Especially given you're crossing the Blogger/Wordpress boundary [which I'm almost positive is illegal or at least frowned upon in internet law.] Regardless, I'll write and upload later today. You have my thanks.

    1. I refuse to acknowledge such boundaries...especially when I wasn't aware of them.

      Anyway, you did, so I did.

  3. Thanks for the nomination! Really nice of you to do that.

    1. Please. You have an excellent blog.

  4. This is awesome! Laughed so much during this - "I simply had nothing else to do other than have someone shit in my eyes for 104 minutes" I seriously need to use that expression some time.

    I had no idea you are such a big fan of The Dude, I could watch The Big Lebowski over and over again and if I had to find a favorite scene, I'd just drown - there are so many great scenes in it. I love "I'm shipping up to Boston", back when I first saw The Departed I used to listen to this song on repeat.

    Gran Torino's ending was quite sad, sure but i was really pissed at Eastwood throughout the whole flick for choosing such sucky supporting actors, Jesus Christ, where did he find this people?

    If you dig movies about dysfunctional families you should check out Running with Scissors, it's quite good and has awesome cast. Also Six Feet Under.

    1. Thanks. Glad someone finds this mess amusing.

      Appreciation of The Big Lebowski is paramount. And you're absolutely right about choosing a scene in that film. I just went with the first one that comes to mind. Though, I love just about every frame of it.

      I don't remember anyone other than Clint in Gran Torino. Maybe there's a reason for that.

      Running with Scissors? On it. Six Feet Under always seemed intriguing, but for me, it's too much of a timesuck to get into TV.

  5. Thanks for the award, homie! I'll answer the questions pronto. And if you were an extra in Waterworld, your cool points would have gone through the roof. Represent!

    1. I don't know why I just don't say that I was. It would be much cooler. I will tell you my audition was soooo bad. The kid they paired me with went crazy and I had to stand there and deal with his dumb ass in front of a 100 people.

    2. Oh, and you're welcome. Your blog is sooo great.

      And I loved your responses. This 'award' was very much the zombie virus you claimed it to be.

  6. Nice answers! I remember seeing Witness when I was a kid. What the hell were my parents thinking? I didn't want to go in a public bathroom until last year.

    1. Younow, I don't understand the reference (sad, I know), but I haven't seen that movie since that day. I just remember Amish people and Kelly McGillis. And was there a sex scene? Or was that Top Gun?

      And your parents? Mine took a 5 year old to a triple feature.

  7. Haha... Yeah, the sad thing is that I used that reference. Basically the kid (Lukas Haas) is a "witness" to a murder in a public restroom.

    I'll see myself out now.

    1. Okay, by using a reference that no one got, you're actually more welcome than you were before. That's a prerequisite for this site.

      Goodness. Your comment cracked me up. People at the grocery store thought I was an idiot. Well, a bigger one.

  8. Great answers. Ben Foster should be a bigger star than he is now.

    1. Thanks. I just watched Rampart and sure enough, there was Foster - kicking ass as usual.