Don't you know that words ruin everything?

While my writing suggests otherwise, I actually love words. In fact, they are my livelihood. Though as a middle school English teacher, I feel like the only ones I use with any regularity are please stop talking and try to be less annoying. Anyway, this blog, as ridiculous and juvenile as it is, allows me to string words together however I want, free of the shackles working with children provides. I honestly revel in sitting down to a blank screen and attempting to tell a story, even when I ultimately botch it. And when I do, which is more often than not, there's still a level of satisfaction in creating something that has never existed before. Even when a post ends up a steaming pile, I'm still proud because it's my steaming pile.

In The Words, that handsome devil Bradley Cooper plays struggling would-be author Rory Jansen. Rory is actually a decent writer, but he can't get anyone to publish his novel. It's good, but he's a nobody and the publishing company is at a loss at how they would market it. Basically, it's tough break, kid. As the bills begin to pile up, the stress of not making it begins to take its toll. Rory thinks he should call it a day, give up the dream. But then, after inadvertently stumbling across a magnificent yet unpublished manuscript, Rory makes a decision that will change everything.

From the outset, it's obvious where this movie is going, but despite that, I had a good time along the way. Any positives will be immediately attributed to the cast, and that's completely warranted. While Cooper is the posterboy, I found the supporting turn by Jeremy Irons to be the most interesting. Obviously, the guy's a legend, but as I watch primarily bad movies, I've deprived myself of the force that is a pissed off Irons.

Outside of the solid performances, this flick sustains a decent amount of tension throughout. For a thriller about plagiarism, it's tightly wound and moves briskly. Unfortunately it's not all handsome actors and dramatic beats, as eventually things begin to spiral into absurdity. And by things, I mean the script, oddly enough. See, this movie begins to cave in on itself in the final act and the resolution could be classified as uninteresting (at best). Maybe someone smarter would disagree, but remember - I teach seventh grade English. You have to be a real wordsmith to do that. Or at least be a really savvy eighth grader.

Speaking of middle schoolers, here are the Yays and Boos, still reeling from a snow day they didn't get. We watched this together a week ago, so forgive them if they're a little rusty.

Jeremy's...iron?

Yaaaaaaay!

• The title screen is awesome. Underplayed excellence.
• Zoe Saldana likely plays the hottest Dora ever.
• There's a scene in an alley where Cooper tells Saldana that he doesn't think he's who he thought he was. Maybe that he's a fraud. He's talking about himself, at least I thought so, but she internalizes it, and it's now about her. This scene was utterly convincing and unfortunately familiar. If I had a dollar for every time I thought I was criticizing myself, and it somehow turned out I was criticizing us (and immediately backpedaled), I might not mention middle schoolers so often.
• Olivia Wilde! Glad to see her again, so soon. Though, her character of literary groupie is a bit puzzling. I mean, does such an animal exist? Are there shitty blog groupies? 
• Irons first scene in the park is all kinds of tense and awkward. I actually felt like I was in trouble. Luckily, my wife cut the tension when she sincerely asked, Is that Fonzie?
• Though I really have no interest to travel there, the hues of Paris are breathtaking. 
• And finally, I really enjoyed watching a movie about writing. Even if they're fictional characters in a slightly above average movie, I fully appreciated seeing people actually invest themselves in the written word.

I had this job once. My fellow mailcart guy was less BC, more angry Russian.

 Booooooooo!

• Okay, it might've been late, or I'm just an idiot, but tell me this whole thing doesn't get just a bit convoluted. You have doubts? Well, there's point where we have a flashback in a retelling. Yep. We have a guy telling the story of a guy telling his story to the guy who wrote that story. Right? By the way, did you ever see Primer [review]?
• On that note, my wife hated Dennis Quaid as a narrator. I didn't mind him really, but when the wife wants a Boo, the wife gets a Boo.
• So, they're completely broke and they honeymoon in Paris? Makes sense.
• As I said, I love Saldana, but when she gets mad and her eyes shift side-to-side in confusion and disgust? She instantly becomes blue and nine feet tall. Jake Sullyyyyyy!
• Okay movie, easy on the whole _____ baby angle. Even if it's part of the story, Daddy-to-be doesn't need that. Nor does anyone anywhere.
• I know it's mandatory in a movie like this, but watching someone write is a tough thing to maintain. I mean, someone can only stare at a screen intently before it veers into ridiculousness.
• And the gold medal for Longest Conversation on a Park Bench goes to....Fine. It's still Gump, but it was a photo finish.
• Man, his agent was a real douche. You can't do this to me. Really?
• And finally, the ending. All I wrote was Hmm. Which I'm pretty sure is shorthand for That's it? What the f--k?

Like the writers of The Words, I'm not really sure how to end this. Since seeing it as the Dictionary.com word of the day, I've been trying to work the word haberdashery into a post for a couple of weeks. But it's unwarranted and doesn't really make any sense.

Hmm.