Samantha, you're a good one.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I have a thing for you. I mean it. Sometimes, the way I look at it, we're in a meaningful (though distant) relationship. I think about what I say to you, and I carefully consider your response. Occasionally, I'll find myself wondering about where you are, perhaps even who you're with. We might get together here, or maybe even at your place. I try to make you laugh, and what you say might crack me up, too. Oh, and when you don't respond for awhile? Out trot all my insecurities. Should I just stop this? Should I give up?

Someone reading this is thinking, this guy's pathetic. He cares about words on a screen? Honestly, I do. Because these words are your voice. And trust me, sometimes, a voice is all you need.

her, from legendary writer/director Spike Jonze, may be the most honest movie I have ever seen. It's easily one of the best-written. Telling the simple yet brilliant tale of a man falling in love with an operating system (OS), Jonze crafts a story that is as compelling as it is clever. Despite a premise that may appear to be science fiction at first glance, this is undoubtedly a love story, and a timeless one at that.

Theodore (a perfectly-smitten Joaquin Phoenix) is a lonely guy still clinging to a previous relationship. He's a gentle sort, making a living off of the seemingly endless amount of romance and sweetness he conjures, as a writer for a personalized greeting card company. He's very good at his job, but there's an overt sadness to all of it. Outside of a few work friends, he's alone, but everything changes the day he gets a new operating system, complete with a Siri-esque voice-activated interface, Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johansson, at the top of her game). Theodore not only finds a friend in Samantha, but also a companion. And I thought I loved my Dreamcast...

Having heard nothing but good things, not to mention an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, I can't believe I had doubts going into this film. her is storytelling magic, as every single component of what makes a film a film comes together exquisitely. The performances and direction are nearly flawless, as is the music and the overall vibe of the (potentially?) futuristic setting. On paper this might be a tough sell, the idea of a man falling in love with an OS, but onscreen it undoubtedly works. If you've ever been in a relationship, or hope to fall in love someday, I can assure you, her is going to resonate with you. Jonze, working with his own script, truly creates something special.

While the Yays and Boos are a different kind of special, it can't be denied that they, like Samantha, have quickly grown into hyper-intelligent sentient beings. Okay, it can be denied, rather easily, but at least they're not going to abandon you and go hang out with a bunch of rotten tomatoes.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

• Okay, for the rest of my life, when someone asks me why did you do that? I will use one response, and one response only: Because I'm a kook.
• So, is that the best videogame ever? Or the worst? I'm not sure.
• Olivia Wilde. Even if she's a little bossy with tongue usage, she's impossibly hot here. Well, in the beginning, anyway...
• Yeah, um, that sex scene was um...oddly....uh, alluring, right? I mean, that's what my friend said. I thought it was pathetic and gross. 
• Not only do I want a sexy OS like Samantha to manage my life, but I really hope it uses the word butthole like she does, too. It's so classy!
• My God that little girl was adorable.
• I want to discover myself. Whoa.
• The idea that love is socially-accepted insanity may be one of the best things I have ever heard.
• Isabella. Maybe the nicest character ever?
• The music is perfect throughout, but Samantha's song/their duet was something beyond that. Incredible.
• As was that letter to Catherine. Goodness.
• The ending. Like a much sweeter version of Fight Club's final frame. No, not that final frame.
• And finally, Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson. Phoenix is so good as the downtrodden and, at times, desperate Theodore. But Johansson? She creates something in Samantha that is so real, and so full of life, I almost don't even know what to say. It's just her voice...but it has this weight to it, you know? It's almost tangible.

Booooooooo!

• I wanted to lament the fact that, in the near-future, everyone wears high-waisted pants and has a silly mustache. But, I'll be old in the near-future...so it all sounds about right.
• I love Wilde, as I've said a million times, but this bitch is crazy! Run, Theo, runnnnn!
• Waiting tables. I've happily strolled up to too many tables where the conversation has turned ugly. It's the worst. Okay, so now that your marriage is officially over, can I get you guys an appetizer?
• I said I liked Isabella, I did, but holy shit was that whole scene crazy uncomfortable. I'm all for having a strange blonde in the room, but not like that. And she better un-quiver that lip.
• Phone sex lady. Nothing takes me out of the mood faster than the mention of (using) a dead cat.
• Stealing my move. Theodore admits to continually being unable to express what's wrong in his relationship, and then denying that there's a problem when his girl senses it. Had my wife been awake during this moment, I'm pretty sure she would have gotten up slowly, paused the movie, and just nodded. For hours.
• OS NOT FOUND.
• Probably the worst question a guy can ask his girl? How many others? Ugh.
• And finally, the ending. I'm such a bitch about happy endings. When I get them, I hate them. And when I don't? I'm pissed. Ultimately, I loved the ending, but there was a part of me...that wanted something...else.

Can you believe in all these posts, I try to start things off with some little anecdote or seemingly related stream-of-consciousness? I mean, why bother, what's the point, right? Talk about the movie and shut the f--k up. And in this one in particular, I ramble on and on about our relationship when I don't even know you and you essentially don't even exist? What the Hell, man? Why do you keep doing this? Isn't it obvious?

Because I'm a kook.