Friday, April 17, 2015

Do not drink the lemonade!

Fitting in can be a tricky thing. Daily, I see kids entirely give up on the person they actually are simply to gain the smallest bit of acceptance. I get it, sure - everybody wants to belong (even those annoying kids repeatedly screaming the opposite). But don't think it gets any easier as you get older. In fact, find like-minded adults is even more difficult (heads up, kids: adults are really weird). The good thing, however?

You eventually stop caring (and likely start blogging).

Even though I dragged my son to it, I kind of wanted to hate Home. Either it was the pandering preview or the credibility-smashing nutpunch of casting RiRi and J. Lo (I loathe the casting of musicians in animated films), but something didn't sit right with me about this one. Despite my initial disdain, it's...actually a decent little kids movie.

Especially for one that doesn't feature a bouncing Luxo Jr. beforehand.

Jim Parsons voices Oh, probably the least liked member of the Boov, a race of purple, six-legged aliens. They are a peaceful bunch, until the rival Gorg show up, forcing the Boov to flee whatever planet they are currently occupying. As Home begins, Earth is the Boov's new destination.

Oh, as these kind of friendless characters often do, totally screws up. In an effort to invite folks to his new apartment on Earth, he inadvertently sends an e-vite to the Gorg, granting them instant access to the Boov's latest hiding place. Oh realizes his mistake, and gets out of Dodge quickly.

But not before running into another outcast, the sassy human girl, Tip (um, her real name is Gratuity...ugh). Tip is also alone in this world, but only because the Boov relocated her mother. Shocking no one, these two form the ol' unlikely duo, and head out on a road trip to not only reunite Tip and her mom, but to also get Oh to cancel that e-vite.

Speaking of unlikely duos (or is that unliked duos?), here are the Yays and Boos for Dreamwork's latest (last?) animated feature. When you think about it, their home is in your hand. Weird, right?

I was floored by how not-awful the cat ended up being.
  • There is a Kid on Her Own and it's not the result of Dead Parents! I was stunned to learn this.
  • The Boov have this pretty cool system of sucking up everything they deem useless and making it float high up into the sky. Guess I'll bring a jacket when the invasion starts.
  • A meeting is called to generate ideas about what to do about the impending Gorg invasion. Most of the solutions are pretty awesome, but this one lady has the best one ever. Honestly, it's probably the solution to most workplace problems.
  • Going number 3. On Earth, I thought that was going numbers 1 and 2 at the same time (also known as the Lawrence Welk), but I'm not sure what it means to the Boov. Oddly enough, I'm very curious about this. Very.
  • My son loves Van Gogh's Starry Starry Night. Thumbs up to whoever decided to include it here.
  • Drop That might be a contender for the soundtrack Hall of Fame. That beat was perfect for the Gorg invasion.
  • Speaking of, the Gorg? That was some inspired character design to say the least. Whoa.
  • And finally, the color-changing aspect of the Boov. Not only was this little plot device clever (they change color depending on their emotion), but the next day my son dropped a pretty sweet reference to it. I asked my daughter if she pooped (from under a hastily built gasmask), and she replied with her customary singsong-y NOOOOooooo.  My son: Dad, she's going to turn green after saying that.
It kind of looks like Steve Martin, doesn't it?
  • While it eventually won me over/wore me down, the Boov way of talking was pretty frickin' irritating.
  • Good thing that bike rack was there, huh? The one all by itself. Directly under the Eiffel Tower.
  • I don't unilaterally hate Rihanna's music or anything, but hearing her vocals under a scene featuring a character she's playing made me want to gouge my eyes out and stuff them in my ears.
  • And while that's bad, J.Lo doing the same thing was somehow even worse. Look Jenny from the Block, soundtrack or principle cast. Not both.
  • And finally, the end. I would love to tell you that I didn't get a little choked up at the end of a silly movie like Home, but I try not to lie in front of my son. Unless we're at Toys R' Us. Or Target.
I have long since given up on fitting in, and/or giving a damn about it. Without a doubt. But as my son tells me these wildly depressing (and utterly maddening) stories about his lack of friends at school, not to mention the things they say and do to him, it has suddenly become my world. It keeps me up at night. I take some solace though, in the fact that there will always be a place where he can be himself without any repercussions.



  1. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got! I'm still Jenny from the block! Yet, be fooled by her bling, her expensive cars, her entourage, and all of that bullshit.

    1. ^^LOL

      My husband took my son to this and he hated it. He complained about all of Rihanna's music as well. I'm okay that I missed it.

    2. Ah, J.Lo. I think her cinematic career peaked at Out of Sight, yes? Does that seem fair? Or Anaconda. One of those.

      Brittani - I don't blame your husband in the least for hating this one. I honestly don't know what it was - I wanted to, but I couldn't. I don't even really like Parsons (not that I hate him), and I already mentioned the whole pop-star, um...yeah...

      I have no clue what the Hell happened.

  2. I know I'll eventually see this, but I'm not really expecting much. The short film that was all over every animated movie last year was kind of funny...but I didn't think it could sustain a feature film.

    1. I don't remember the short film...I think, but I was certainly surprised by how much I liked this one. Full disclosure? I hadn't been to the movies in so long, taking my five year old to a ninety-minute animated retelling of Anti-Christ probably would have gotten an enthusiastic thumbs up from me. Really...I was desperate.