Monday, October 8, 2012

Holy rabies!

No, Dad. I don't want to see that one. It scares me.

This poster is all the plot summary you're getting out of me.
That's what my son kept telling me, every time I mentioned the idea of going to the movies this past Saturday night. As I assume I will do throughout his entire life, I reassured him that it's going to be okay. And while for a minute or two, I felt like the world's worst father, in the end that's exactly what Hotel Transylvania was. Okay.

Actually, it might have been better than that - or worse. I'm not really sure. What I do know is that my three year old son loved it and that's all I was hoping for. The fact that me and the wife chuckled a few times? Pure bonus.

Adam Sandler rounds up his usual stable of friends for yet another trip into that semi-awkward family territory he has has grown so comfortable in. Yes, there's a message about the importance of family and acceptance, and yes it's entirely too sentimental. But, at the same time, it entertains with enough laughs (both cheap and clever) to ultimately get a passing grade. Goodness, you had me at Steve Buscemi.

This movie flies by at a very frenetic pace. Rarely, scenes last more than a minute or two, and if they do, they're likely extended action or music sequences. And while this may irritate those of you not accompanying a small child, it certainly prevents the moment the little guy needs to realize he's actually sitting still. I'm not sure if they're catering to people with zero attention spans, or simply creating them, but that conversation is for another day (if not another blog).

Let's see if we can corral those hyper-active Yays and Boos for a minute, in a little segment called the Yays and Boos. Did I already say that? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What are we doing?

  • The entire voice cast is solid, but...
  • Andy Samberg owns as Johnny, the hippie backpacker who 'ruins' everything. I love this guy.
  • And David Spade's Invisible Man rules, too. I want to put my hand in his mouth.
  • Speaking of, I think I actually snorted when they pulled his pants down.
  • Nice Twilight dig, by the way.
  • It's probably tired and groan-inducing at this point, but the inclusion of LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It was pretty funny. We've come a long way from Randy Newman (Hell, even Smash Mouth, at this point).
  • Now I may have dabbled in it when I was in college, but that was the best Bingo game I've ever seen.
  • The hotel employees, primarily the Zombies, were pretty cool. You don't need that mannequin.
  • And the true highlight of the night! My son saying, rather loudly, WE SHOULD GET THIS MOVIE FOR OUR HOUSE! Okay, kiddo. Just be quiet. We're at the movies.
He's trying to erase the memory of That's My Boy..
  • When Dracula is mad or threatened, he makes a pretty scary face. This terrified my son. I know, I'm a terrible person.
  • That's no way to treat Zombie Beethoven.
  • My son is still too young for 3D. I bet it would have looked pretty cool here.
  • And finally, Horrible Kid Movie Cliche Checklist, Go! Character shakes butt at camera? Check. Fart joke? Loud and stinky, check. Dead parent? 10-4. Wait. What about extended musical and or dance sequence where stuffy/old character hesitates moments before singing/dancing like a madman? Does a bear um, poop, in the woods?
If you're a parent, I think this one is a safe Halloween bet for the little ones, outside of a few seconds that may, well, horrify your kids. But at least it's not Frankenweenie. Because, according to my son: I don't like the movie of it. It scares me. 

I'll post the review soon. 


  1. I'm glad you mentioned Frankenweenie. I'm trying to figure out which one of out that and Hotel Translyvania to go to as I don't think I have time to see both.

    1. Sounds like a coin toss.

      Hotel Transylvania was harmless enough, but my view is completely skewed at this point. If my son likes it and we escape without major incident...victory is ours.

  2. There are so many animations with potentionally creepy creatures in them this year, is that a new trend or something? I don't enjoy animated movies and Adam Sandler, so I'm probably going to see Frankenweenie and ParaNorman instead of this one, but I'm sure Buscemi was awesome in it, as he is in everything.

    1. Yeah, this one isn't must see by any means, but if you don't like Sandler and/or animation, run like Hell in the opposite direction.

      I was interested in the other two, but I think I've traumatized my son enough. For now.