Compared to Orson Welles, he's a sweetheart.

Good evening.

While I haven't seen nearly enough of his films, I would still feel okay saying that I'm a huge Alfred Hitchcock fan (just don't quiz me, okay?). As a kid, I can vividly recall the beginning of Alfred Hitchcock Presents on television. Hearing the music and seeing this old guy stroll on screen in silhouette fascinated me, even if I wasn't quite sure why. Years later, in a college film class, our professor would show us Psycho and suddenly, everything became incredibly clear. Alfred Hitchcock, of course, was undoubtedly The Master of Suspense.

Three things I wish I could be: Old, fat and British. Wait a sec. Two down!

Sure, peering into the personal life of one of the most famous directors of all-time is fascinating enough, but watching the creation of his masterpiece is even more so. Hitchcock, released last year, follows the director's struggles to create what would become the most successful film of his career, 1960's Psycho.

While my wife was likely more interested in the film's primary focus of Hitchcock's working relationship and marriage to Alma Reville, I was quietly devouring all things Psycho. Anchoring each story, is yet another inspired performance by the legendary Anthony Hopkins. To have such an icon playing yet another, is a very, very cool thing. Seeing Hitchcock's reserved confidence (and cheekiness) brought to life is joy enough. But when it has Hopkins behind it? It's all kinds of awesome. You can almost see all the fun he's having.

Not having as much fun, is his wife and production partner, Alma Reville, played by another living icon, Helen Mirren. And while both characters are a bit downtrodden, it seems that Alma's life is damn near void of joy. Her husband is betting the house on a movie that no one wants to be made, and she continues to support him despite zero reciprocation. Not too surprising, like countless stories of great men, it turns out there was a woman keeping the whole thing going. Except in Lincoln [review]. That Mary Todd was a real bitch.

Hitchcock is a short, sweet film. Where it possibly could've had an edge to it, the film decides to keep everything breezy and charming, instead of dark and twisted. Being a fan of Psycho certainly helps, but with Hopkins and Mirren as the leads, it's certainly not mandatory. Oh, and you get to watch Scarlett Johansson take a shower, which is always a nice touch.

Always dressed like their suspiciously deceased mothers, I present to you the Yays and Boos. They've been clamoring to watch The Birds forever. I think what they actually want, is to go outside. Nice try, jerks.

Yaaaaaaaaaay!

• I love the idea of buying all the copies of Psycho to preserve the ending for audiences. Ah, simpler times.
• Sweet quote from Hitchcock: Self-plagiarism is style. Like that one.
• When a Paramount executive tells Hitchcock that he'll have to pay for Psycho himself, Hitch calmly takes out his checkbook. Who do I make it out to? Ha! Suck on that, Mr. Balaban.
• Not that it comes as a huge surprise, but Anthony Perkins was a weird mofo. I'm not even sure he was actually acting when he played Norman Bates.
• Turns out, they're are rules on a Hitchcock set. And it turns out, they're pretty much the rules of Fight Club. First rule of Psycho? You do not talk about Psycho.
• Hitchcock kind of reminded me of my dad, actually. See, there was probably a ten-year period where I saw my father in only one outfit. Though, sadly for me, a black suit trumps chef attire every time.
• Even though her little tryst annoyed me, Alma Reville was a damn fine lady. Her speech was awesome.
• As a husband myself, I'm always looking for things to say to get myself out of trouble. Hitchcock's best defense? Well, her breasts were rather large. Seems like a perfect go-to.
• And finally, if Hitchcock really did that stuff in the lobby of the theater, that may have been one of the coolest things to ever witness. Seriously. Imagine seeing that.

 Booooooooo!

• The Ed Gein stuff. Was it supposed to be funny, or just f--king odd? 'Cause my vote's the latter.
• Censors! Audiences couldn't handle toilets? How far we've come.../fallen.
• Whoa, Hitch. Dude gets his feelings hurt and all of a sudden he's eating like a depressed Sherman Klump. Slow down, big fella.
• Alfred Hitchcock, world-class director. True. Alfred Hitchcock, piss-poor poolman. Also true.
• Even though he was a dick, Whitfield Cook needed a beating. Why you gotta string Alma along like that, bro?
• I'm not one to ever criticize a shower scene, but if that's really how it went down? Damn. Even I was traumatized. Really.
• Oh, and speaking of Ms. Johansson. While I think you are a pretty sexy lady, I honestly find Janet Leigh to be more attractive, even if just barely.
• I don't think it's too much to ask for a little more Toni Collette, is it? Perhaps another glimpse of The Karate Kid, while we're at it. Hell, I'll even trade you some Jessica Biel, if need be.
• And finally, I think this movie would have benefited from a little more time on the set of Psycho. And by a little more, clearly I mean a lot more. As in all. More. Whatever. You know what I mean.

Slightly off topic, but do you think they'll ever make a bio pic about director Gus Van Sant? Could be a good flick, you know? Maybe they could tell the story about this ill-advised project he took on back in 1998. Remember, it was one that no one thought would work and could potentially sink the careers of everyone involved. What was the name of that movie? Hmm. I forget. But I do remember it had a pretty killer shower scene in it.