Sunday, July 13, 2014

Against the Crowd: BLOGATHON

Dell, who's been kicking lots of ass lately over at Dell on Movies, is hosting yet another interesting blogathon. The rules are simple:

1) Pick a movie that everyone loves. Piss all over it.

2) Pick a movie that everyone hates. Kiss it, stroke its hair. Whisper to it, it's going to be okay.

3) Something about tomatoes.
(for official rules here, the other participants here)


I don't want to rehash my original post [check it here], but I will reference it, as I will never watch this movie again. Overly long and mostly ridiculous, The Dark Knight Rises was supposed to be, in my mind, the greatest Batman movie ever. It isn't. It's not even in my top 5. I think the final act of this movie is about as bad as there is in a 'good' movie. I know everyone loves this this flick, but sweet Jesus, after The Dark Knight, this one falls woefully short. We might as well have had Bale strut around to a Bee Gees tune, you know? That would have made more sense than some of the decisions in Nolan's final film of the trilogy.

And if you're the kind of person who considers this flick the best move ever!, please, thoroughly search your utility belt for something you can f--king choke on, 'cause I don't want to hear it. Again, anyway.




Further straining my blogger credibility, I f--king love the comedy (classic?) Saving Silverman. I almost died laughing in the theater and this movie still cracks me up a decade later. Yes, it's stupid. And yes it's likely not a very good movie, at all, but it's f--king hysterical. I don't think Jack Black has ever been funnier (though Nacho Libre is close), and if you don't laugh every time you hear him make that sound, then you are a superior who probably shouldn't be denying the world your charm by spending a minute on this site.

Misplaced faux agression aside, Saving Silverman is insanely quotable and features ridiculous turns by R. Lee Ermey and Amanda Peet, not to mention an Indian dude rocking the shit out of Neil Diamond's Cherry, Cherry. I mean, what's not to love? And if you still don't like this flick, I've got some movies that you can watch instead: Porno, or monster trucks.

And I got one that's both.

18 comments:

  1. Couldn't agree more about the Dark Knight Rises, I was so tempted to list it on my own entry in this blogathon. So many mixed emotions with TDKR. I loved that film and walked out blown away by how much I enjoyed the film.

    And then I sat down and thought about it. It began to dawn on me that the movie had some glaring holes, inexcusably so. What was originally a 8/9-10 film dropped to a 5/6 at best. I still enjoy it, but there is just so much that brings it down - Bane, Bane's voice, Bruce's miraculous recovery (twice), the police in the sewers, Talia, the bomb, Bruce's journey into Gotham, JGL figuring out Bruce's identity...the list goes on.

    Great write-up though, I'm glad somebody else can see the film for what it is! :)

    Here's my entry: http://feelinfuzzier.blogspot.com.au/2014/07/against-crowd-blogathon.html

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    1. I should replace my entire bullshit review with your second paragraph. That's just perfect. The list does indeed go on, too.

      I checked out your entry. Suck on that, Avatar.

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  2. I've never seen Saving Silverman but I really want to see it after reading this! And I see where you're coming from with The Dark Knight Rises - I still like it, but following The Dark Knight was always going to be a challenge and I don't think it rose to it.

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    1. I think Saving Silverman is really funny, but I might be the only one. It's really, really stupid, but if you like Jack Black (and/or Steve Zahn), you should probably have a good time with this one. It's lowbrow, but in the best possible way.

      An impossibly tough act to follow, I still fell that TDKR is a bloated mess by the end. I wanted to love it so much, too!

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  3. Yes, so many holes in TDKR. I like it okay, but definitely don't love it. And yeah, it's at least 1000 notches below TDK. Haven't seen Saving Silverman, but kind of feel like I have to, now. Great entry!

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    1. What the Hell is going on here? Hasn't anyone seen Saving Silverman? Damn you's some classy bitches.

      As for TDKR, I basically hated it. Honestly, I think it had no chance with me after what had happened the night before in Aurora, as weird as that may sound. But minus that...I thought Nolan's and Bale's disinterest was almost tangible in that final act. Ugh.

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  4. Completely agree with TDKR. I think we all knew that it could never trump The Dark Knight, but it just dropped the ball on so many levels, that an 88% seems so excessively high to me. Nice pick! I wouldn't have thought of that one (probably because I don't think about it haha).

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    1. Wow, I wish I had this support back when it was released as I felt like I was alone in Blogger Hell! Ha. But, as you said, it not only dropped the ball, but then it tripped over it and crapped its pants on the way down. As for that 88%? I don't even know how it could possibly be rated that high...but I do recall critics saying it had a chance at Best Picture...so...anything is possible, I suppose.

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  5. Nacho Libre has a 'rotten' score on Rotten Tomatoes but I love it (him singing "Encarnacion" always cracks me up). So if Jack Black is funnier in Saving Silverman then I'm in!

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    1. Encarnacion is probably something that gets stuck in my head, maybe, once a month, even if I haven't heard it in over a year (especially, the little instrumental part!). I love how Black can't keep his accent straight in that movie...it's so great.

      If you're in the right mood, Saving Silverman should crack you up. But, remember, this is coming from someone who didn't like TDKR. I can't be trusted.

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  6. Phew, I'm so glad someone else picked TDKR! Now if I get any stick I can be all 'Two Dollar hates it too!' I've never seen Saving Silverman, but now I'm really tempted to give it a try :)
    - Allie

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    1. Allie!

      Yeah, I'm with you. Even though the whole point is to attack/defend a movie everyone loves, I still wanted somebody to have my back (I know, what a wuss...). Though, honestly, just like people turn against movies because it's the right thing to do...I think the same thing happens with liking movies, too. Maybe that's what's going on with TDKR?

      As for Silverman? I'm shocked that no one's seen it. I think it's hilarious...but sometimes...comedies don't age well, you know? Keep that in mind if you, you know...

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  7. Huahahahaha I love everything you've written about The Dark Knight Rises. I keep shaking my head whenever someone said it's the best movie of the year...it has sooooo many plotholes

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    1. Couldn't agree more. I can barely handle when someone says they really liked it, let alone the best movie ever! nonsense. But, I'm telling you, at the time, when I saw talk of Best Picture? I officially thought the world had lost its f--king mind.

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  8. Oh no! So TDKR places just before Batman and Robin for you?:D

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    1. Hardee har har, but you know what? Go with the first two of each set (Keaton/Bale), then throw in the old 1960's version (West) just to be a dick, and boom: TDKR is 6th. Hell, I might even check out the Kilmer version again while I'm at it.

      If not for Cotillard's luminous face (um, and breasts), I don't even know where TDKR would fall.

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  9. I am an uncultured swine, of course, but I didn't really like any of Nolan's Batman films. The one with the Joker bored me to hell (I don't understand why or how either) and -- except for Rise, because that shit was awesome -- TDKR was just as bad. Totally going to watch the Silverman film, by the way. I do love Jack Black, you know. (See above about the swine thing.)

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    1. Whoa whoa whoa. Do I know you?

      I'm very impressed that you were unimpressed with both The Dark Knight and TDKR. I've never encountered such a person. Well done.

      As for Silverman? Goodness, I thought other people in the world had actually seen that movie, but apparently young m.brown's trip to the theater that day was like the first ten minutes in 28 Days Later.... Anywho...check it out. If you like Black, you should have at least a halfway decent time.

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