Saturday, March 24, 2012

Embrace the probability of your imminent death.

When I come home from the movies, my wife always asks me two things: Well, how was it? Nine out of ten times, I give her the ol' It was okay. This is the point where she rolls her eyes, suggesting that I've either wasted my time (or, the time I could have spent with her) or am the most indifferent person in the world (possibly true). Then she'll say, What did you see, again? I like how she adds the again bit, implying that she had an idea of what I went to in the first place. Last night my answer was, of course, The Hunger Games.

The Capitol is like a place that's perpetually celebrating New Years Eve, 1985.
If you don't know the plot by now, you should probably just power down whatever it is you're using and pick up a book. Any book. Actually, just turn on the television - it'll be faster. The anticipation for this damn movie had swelled to a level that was beyond absurd. I read the books and really enjoyed the first one (I think they get progressively worse), but I feel that they are being wildly over-praised. Our English department seems to consider them as the only books on Earth that will engage students. Ridiculous. Anyway, the hype (and my own misguided backlash) has hurt my enjoyment of the film. I just want that out there, because who knows? You may have a tattoo of a Mockingjay on your ass.

All that said, this movie is, as I told my wife, okay. I think calling it the best or worst movie ever will be greatly overselling it. While I thought it dragged a bit, overall I was pleased. Nothing was butchered, nothing drastically important left out. And any time spent with Jennifer Lawrence is a good time. Damn Katniss. You fine.

I see the hypocritical nature of being anti-hype and going to see it on opening night. I get that. But, like many of you, I wanted to be able to form my opinion before the general verdict has set it. I haven't figured it out yet, but it seems to be an overall positive vibe. Fair enough. I'm hoping the flicks do the inverse of the books, and get better as they go.

Well, guess it's time for the Yays and Boos? It might take a bit longer than usual as I'm having an Avox dictate this to me. That's a joke for the readers.
This seems rather suggestive.
  • Jennifer Lawrence. I'm so close to just typing her name repeatedly until I fall asleep, but I'll spare you/us.
  • The rest of the cast! Much love to Lenny Kravitz in particular. Thought he was a solid pick for Cinna.
  • But I have to mention Woody, too. Damn, I loved him as Haymitch. He was probably a bigger dick in the book, but Woodrow nailed it regardless.
  • Two-words: Training. Attire.
  • I was actually pretty moved when Gale swoops up Prim. Powerful stuff right there.
  • Caesar's theater was pretty badass. It was my favorite part of the capitol.
  • Ooh, I really dug the uprising scene in District 11. Looking forward to more of that.
These three all turn in solid performances.
  • Seriously, was it slow? Anyone got my back on that one? Hello?
  • All the CG seemed rather low-budge. C'mon Lionsgate, hasn't the Saw franchise made you some scratch? The Mutts looked terrible (but did make me jump, dammit).
  • Shaky Cam! I understand that it adds to the chaos. But, it also made me want to vomit on the obnoxious gay dude in front of me (sorry, but he wouldn't shut the hell up and he sounded like Rosie Perez in White Men Can't Jump).
  • Was Peeta this much of a bitch in the book? I forget.
  • And finally, I was walking out of the theater and I heard someone say excuse me, sir twice. I was convinced he was talking to an actual adult, not me. F--king polite-ass kids. Sir
I'll see you in a few with a review of a flick that we watched today. Here's a sneak preview: It was okay.


  1. Take away the hullabaloo surrounding the film adaptation of Suzanne Collins’ best-selling young adult book and what you have is an absorbing film with a dire premise that stands pretty much on its own. Lawrence is also the stand-out here as Katniss and makes her seem like a real person rather than just another book character brought to life on film. Good review M. Brown.

    1. Well put, Dan. I completely agree. I just have a hard time keeping the film and novel as separate entities.

      I would like to know the opinion of someone who walked into the movie totally unaware of the premise. Was it a good flick?

  2. I agree about uprising scene it was pretty good. If only the entire movie had as much urgency and emotions as this sequence...

  3. Great review! Damn, Katniss. You very fine. I'm with you on the whole hoping the movies end up getting better as they go instead of worse, the way the books went. Mainly, I just want to see a shit ton of rebellion scenes. Make it happen, Hollywood! After all, they have to do something with all that space left without Katniss' bitching.

  4. Sati - Totally agree. It seemed like this movie took it sweet f--king time with just about everything.

    M - Hopefully they'll spend like crazy and put some money into the uprising. They're making money hand over fist - bastards. I want nothing implied or explained.

    All on screen. All awesome.