Monday, April 9, 2012

I said shut up once already with my mouth.

Katniss Everdeen is a huge bitch. Yeah, I said it. Ooh, she's got to compete in some fancy games with a dreamy baker that she may or may not love. Oh, and her home life isn't the greatest either, what with starving and oppression and such. Please. If you want to see Jennifer Lawrence really handle adversity, really deal with some shit - check out 2010's Winter's Bone. Tracker jackers and being moderately thirsty ain't got shit on some crank-fueled hillbillies from the Ozarks.
And the Oscar for Worst F--king Boat Ride Ever goes to...

I've looked for my dad before, I'm sure of it. Once, I was at the grocery store and I couldn't find him for minutes. Replace grocery store with scary mountains where everyone is poor and wants to skullf--k you and minutes with f--king eternity and you have the plot for this movie. Seriously. It's simple, and at times, effective. But worth a Best Picture nomination? Maybe if you're on meth.

Regardless, Jennifer Lawrence is truly badass in her role as Ree, a 17 year-old chick dealing with entirely too much awful. When she's not skinning squirrels for dinner, she's making damn sure her little brother and sister are getting some kind of education. Mom's around, but apparently too f--ked up to deal with any of this. Oh, and guess what? They're about to lose their shitty house because Pops put it up for his bond. Guess what, again. Do it. Pops is kind of an unsavory dude. And guess what else? Nobody can find him. Balls.

I'm going to keep this one as brief as possible because I've noticed a trend of loquaciousness around these parts. Just like my search for Daddy-o in the grocery store, I've got to focus and keep it moving. And pray that he and I aren't at opposite endcaps at the exact same time.

His name is Teardrop. And somehow, that's scary.
Child, I's a givin' Yaaaays for the followin'...
  • Acting. Everybody. It's so good that you're pretty sure that none of these people are actors.
  • John Hawkes (pictured to the left). I recognize you from somewhere. You're usually really high or really creepy. In this flick, you're both. Well done.
  • I can now tell how long a meth lab has been burned to the ground. Thanks!
  • Army Recruiter Guy. You sir, are a credit to your country. Seriously, this dude is awesome.
Everything, head to toe, is so damn bleak.
 We don't take kindly to no Booos, neither...
  • There's about as much color in this one as there is happiness and beauty. Record-high dreary factor.
  • Once you figure out what Dad did to make everybody spit on the ground at the mere mention of him, it all seemed rather...meh. I mean, that's it?
  • Yes, this movie is tense. But at the same time, I was kind of bored. The resolution didn't payoff and the threats were implied, but not very tangible. I thought we were in for some grisly shit, but instead we just get pissed off meth-heads.
BOTTOM LINE: You might as well give it a spin. I wasn't knocked on my ass like I expected to be, but the performances are good enough to warrant a viewing. It just might be one that you have to get ready for (and shower afterward). Speaking of bath time, more Lawrence is always a good thing, even if she looks exactly like someone you'd find gathering carts outside a Wal-Mart at four in the morning. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


  1. Love the title for the review - my favorite line from the film. Hawkes was just unbelievable here. I liked the movie a lot, I thought it was much worthy of BP nomination, than some of the other nominees. Great review!

    1. I didn't see True Grit, but of the 9 that I did see, I would say that Winter's Bone would rank 8th (ahead of The Kids Are All Right). In my opinion, if they didn't have 10 noms that year...this one ain't making the cut.

      What do you think?

    2. If there were 5 noms I'd probably wouldn't nominate it, but for me the worst out of bunch was Inception and then The Fighter, though both decent for me were flawed.

    3. I really like your blog. I do. However, I think we have almost the exact opposite tastes!

      I loved The Fighter, but maybe it was on a personal level. And Inception? I was blown away by it.

      The King's Speech was very good, though, I really liked it. Just seemed to be designed to win Oscars. What should have won? Black Swan?

    4. I liked the Fighter too, just not as much as the others. Black Swan is my favorite movie, but it's not Academy's taste, TKS is, so I'm glad it won.
      I despise Inception, I think it's one of the most overrated movies in history. That said Marion Cotillard and the score were superb.

  2. Sweet review my friend, Hawkes and Lawrence blew me away in this one. I think her performance in Winters Bone had my level of expectation for her performance in Hunger Games set to an almost impossible level. Or it could just be that Hunger Games was just sort of meh.

    Thats a great quote by Teardrop. I also liked "Is this going to be our time?"

    1. Yes, I wasn't floored by the movie as a whole, but the performances were excellent. I hope to see more of Hawkes in A-list stuff.

      As for The Hunger Games? Totally average. I really hope the crazy box office numbers will pump life (and effort) into the final two flicks (or three?).