In my bottom?

Here was my plan. I was going to take an old post, maybe even one that was pretty funny, and just tweak a few things here and there. I'd keep damn near every joke in place, and I'd even refer back to others repeatedly. It was going to be so easy. I was basically going to just phone the whole thing in. Oh, you might find it momentarily amusing, but in the end you'd have been pissed that I didn't even really try. I mean how hard is to change things up? Well...

The Hangover Part II surprised me. Being as late to the party as I am, of course I had heard all the bad things about this flick. I just never thought that it would be worse than I expected. While I found the original to be hilarious when I first saw it, this one just hurts.

I want to talk about the first movie for a minute. Walking out of the theater that night (6/12/09 with my pregnant wife and my brother Nikos) I'm sure I thought that I had just seen one of the funniest movies ever. Ending with the newly-found photographs was a fresh way to send the audience laughing their asses off.

But then, I watched the movie again. It wasn't that funny. Legitimate comedic classics, like Airplane! for example, are always funny. You could be in a rotten mood and somehow that movie will make you smile, if not crack up entirely (well, at least me anyway). The Hangover just didn't have legs. And now, it's essentially been remade. The results aren't pretty. It reminds me of the line in A Bronx Tale: The saddest thing in life is wasted talent. So let's get drunk and try to figure out how we ended up with the Yays and Boos, Bangkok-style.

Okay, fine. The boner joke here was pretty funny.

Yaaaay!

• Though I didn't really laugh much, the scene in the back of the strip club was pretty hysterical. Classic Stu.
• More Ed Helms is a good thing, even though he's permanently stuck in screech mode.
• Less Ken Jeong is a great thing. I've grown tired of his one-note schtick.
• He was bound to show up, but Iron Mike is always welcome. Well, Iron Mike + Murray Head (Thanks to Phong) anyway.

Maybe in the third one Doug will get to do something.

 Booooo!

• It takes forever to get going. For. Ever.
• Zach Galifianakis, in the first one, was a person. A very odd person. Here, he's a cartoon character.
• Never thought I'd say that a monkey would actually make things worse. Bring back the baby, please.
• Stu's in-laws. First, Wifey is way too hot and young. Second, Dad is like the Thai equivalent of Mark Wahlberg in The Departed. Oh, but drive a boat through a lavish wedding...and he's yours.
• What the Hell was with the flashback starring kids? Was that supposed to make it funnier? It didn't.

Well, I'm done. I think that I put more effort into this post than anyone did into the creation of this movie. I'm looking at you, Bradley Cooper. You're better than this.