I like Predator a great deal.

I would assume if you're reading this, you have a boss. Not because you're not worthy of being in charge, no, but let's be honest, to stick around here? You have to be patient. You have to be thoughtful. You have to be okay with listening to someone drone on about God knows what. But what you really, really have to do to last at Two Dollar Cinema? 

You have to, like, read.
Words. 
Written by a person.

The f--k a boss know about reading? Bosses ain't got time for that shit.

Horrible Bosses 2 is exactly like the first film. In fact, so little has changed [embarrassing review here], it's hard to believe there was three year gap between the two. It's not that that's a bad thing, not at all, but if someone told me that the sequel was cobbled out of extra footage from the first, I wouldn't doubt it for a second. These dudes simply don't age. It's kind of weird...but I like it.

Another thing I take perverse joy in, is how much my wife loves Jason Bateman. I may have mentioned it before, but Mrs. Two Dollar Cinema, in the decade and a half! we've been together, has probably pointed out an attractive gentleman, maybe...four times total. But when Mr. Bateman's handsome face flashes across the screen, she never fails to mention it. Aww...so adorable, right?

Anyway, this time around, instead of a villainous trio of horrible bosses, Nick, Kurt and Dale are only dealing with one, played by that smiling devil, Christoph Waltz. Waltz' character is a real prick, and not only reneges on a major deal that would have made our boys immediately wealthy, but essentially plans to destroy them, too. Why? Just because he can. 

Does any of this really matter? No. Does Jennifer Aniston reprise her role as a dick-hungry dentist? Yes. So...we're good, right? 


Of course we are. And what's also good, very good, is the trio of Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis. These three have such an easy rapport it's hard not to smile as they do their patented thing. I've always thought Day was the standout, as his punching-bag Dale has just the right level of confidence and stupidity, but the other two have carved out enjoyable characters as well. Here, we also get an unhinged Chris Pine (though not like in Stretch [review]), which is certainly a plus, and adding him to the mix does just enough to keep things fresh.

That's quite the man-sandwich, if I do say so myself. 

The direct opposite of fresh, are the Yays and Boos. These two have been hinting about their own horrible boss, but when I pressed them for more details they got quiet. Poor bastards. He does sound like a huge dick, though.

Yaaaaaaaaaay!

• Key! Or is that Peele? Dammit. I'm not sure, but he kicks ass in his few minutes on screen.
• That Shower Daddy Buddy demonstration was pretty funny. Loved the inadvertently XXX stuff, naturally.
• Touching the elbow on the handshake. Dale's version is the best.
• Pop quiz, hotshot: Any Speed reference is a great reference. Well, except for that one.
• Jack Lebowitz. Do you have his contact information?
• The southern accents are hysterical, but let me put my hands together for Day's Mexican Gangbanger. It's pretty racist.
• Pine is pretty funny as the completely untrustworthy Rex. He's fight-clubbing himself!
• The brainstorming sequence was funny, but their resulting fantasy was even better. Well, if f--king Dale could keep all of his damn kids out of it.
• I've gone on far too long to not mention Jamie Foxx's return as Motherf--ker Jones. He only gets a few minutes, but he makes them all count. His negotiating tactics being the standout.
• And finally, the gag reel. Everyone involved in this movie is a legitimate actor, but you simply can't fake genuine laughter. Especially when you're trying not to laugh. It's basically the best sound in the world.

Dr. King and Captain Kirk is almost the the best golf pairing ever.
But I'll take Barker and Gilmore anyday.

Booooooo!

• Phatballz@hotmail.com This is only a Boo because it's not my e-mail address. Well, not yet anyway.
• Nick, Kurt, Dale. Don't say it quickly. Actually you should say it, you know, before you put it on the building.
• Man, Aniston...you's actually too hardcore for me, even if just a little. I'm pretty sure neither Joey nor Chandler could handle you saying So you did eat that cock?
• It's actually a Yay, but dropping your credit card through the door you're trying to break open is just about the worst thing possible.
• Putting someone's toothbrush in your ass. I actually have a story about this...but I'm going to save it for later. But...yikes.
• Man, that was some fine cat furniture they lost. Poor Motherf--ker.
• And finally, if Jennifer Aniston is going to play a nasty slut, can we get just a little more, um visually? Now, I don't want to see her riding a coma-boner or anything, but how about some sideboob or something? Please?

I don't know if the final box-office take warrants it, but I'm going to go ahead and politely request that they put pen to paper and make this a trilogy. I don't even really have an idea how to do it myself, so it's not like I could give them clear directions or anything. 

It's not like I'm telling them to do it. I'm just making a vague suggestion, before I never really mention it again. I fully expecting that it will get done, to my liking, in a timely manner.

Nothing horrible about that.