Because it's my birthday, and I wants it.

Welp, it's that time again. Might as well start defrosting Fudgie the Whale.

Five years ago this evening, I pressed 'post', or whatever it says in Blogger, for the first time in my life. I didn't have a plan, or a point, but I knew that blogging was something I wanted to do. Since then, I've hit that button another five-hundred and thirty three times, yet that plan, or point, remains entirely out of sight. But I still enjoy looking for it very much.

In the last 365 days, like the rest of you, my life and my blog have each had their share of highs and lows, or as they're known around these parts, Yays and Boos. While I try to keep it about movies, sometimes a little bit of that life stuff sneaks into my posts, okay, fine - a lot of it does (and sneaks is totally the wrong word, I know), but today, let's focus on the real reason you're here: pointless lists and self-congratulations.

As is the tradition at Two Dollar Cinema (years one, two, three and four), I've lovingly contemplated/hastily compiled my list of the top (and bottom) thirteen flicks that have come my way in the last 52 weeks, half of which I'll probably hate by this time next year.

1. The Force Awakens - There's likely nothing better than taking your 6 year old son to his first Star Wars movie. Well, other than Chewbacca in rage mode.
2. Mad Max: Fury Road - Breathtaking in every way possible. I need to revisit this one soon.
3. Room - The best movie I will absolutely never watch again. Awwww, damn...here come the waterworks.
4. The Revenant - Oh, you think you've had a tough week, eh?
5. Captain America: Civil War - [insert fangirl screeching] Paul Rudd wins everything.
6. The Martian - Even the shitty potatoes were fantastic.
7. What We Do in the Shadows - I'll invite these guys in any time.
8. Creep - I always thought sleep was totally overrated. F--k you, Mark Duplass. And Peach Fuzz? Oh, f--k him, too.
9. Creed - This one was personal. Thanks, Sly.
10. Kingsman: The Secret Service - I pray at the alter of Matthew Vaughn. Though, Good Lord, these carpets are a mess...
11. Bone Tomahawk - Half of me wants to demand that everyone sees this film. The other half, cries like a little girl just thinking about the atrocities we're shown. I'm really torn. Like, right down the middle.
12. The Guest - No, Dan Stevens, of course you're not imposing. C'mon in, you handsome devil!
13. Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse - F--k you, Everybody Else, this movie is hysterical.

While the aforementioned flicks made my night, this next group made me wish I had never got up that morning. Here are the worst of the worst from May to May, all of which I'm sure to hate even more as the years go by. 

1. Aimy in a Cage - If I awoke this evening to find you in my bedroom taking a slippery dump on my chest, that I would understand. But this? Nope. Unfathomable.
2. Chi-raq - Rhyming for two hours and twenty minutes isn't even clever. In fact, it's the worst f--king idea ever. Oh, and f--k pussy. I just want everyone to shut the Hell up for a minute. F--k.
3. The Skeleton Twins - All I remember is I hated these two people. Especially Wiig. The title was misleading, as I was hoping for a double-homicide to end it all.
4. The Cobbler - So bad, it almost undid Happy Gilmore. I didn't pay to see this, and the price was (still) wrong...bitch.
5. The Man from U.N.C.L.E - I'm not even mad at you Guy Ritchie, just...disappointed.
6. Unfinished Business - No, no. They totally finished it. Assuming 'it' was Vince Vaughn's comedic career.
7. Concussion - Thanks for ruining football, science. Well, nice try, science...I actually blame Peyton Manning and the Broncos.
8. Hot Girls Wanted - Thanks for ruining pornography, Netflix. Well, okay, fine. Thanks for trying to ruin pornography, Netflix.
9. Dark Places - That's where should keep all copies of this movie.
10. Burying the Ex - The annual 'things I will watch for Alexandra Daddario' quest burns me yet again.

Before I go, let me send an invisible hi-five (get it? hi...five? huh? huh? *silence*) to the following esteemed people, whom I not only consider friends of the site, but people I legitimately care about.

Sati over at cinematic corner. has been visiting and commenting on this train-wreck for years. I absolutely adore her. I mean, it's not everyday you meet someone who makes Friday even better.

Brittani over at Rambling Film is also one of the best people alive, too. Not too mention impossibly prolific. I'm pretty sure Brittani has posts already scheduled until deep into the summer...of the year 3000.

Wendell over at Dell on Movies. Easily one of the funniest dudes around, Dell's site is consistently hilarious...and incredibly well-written. Yeah, f--k that guy, right? Ha.

And Fisti over at A Fistful of Films. Fisti bowed out of blogging this year, but still remains one of the reasons I continue to stay up way too late to publish reviews that no one's going to read. This guy is one of the nicest people on the web, and insanely passionate about what he does. And a friend, no doubt.

Everybody else? Steph, AW, Jenna and Allie, Mike, Mariah, the rad FTS ladies, Khalid, Rhys, Todd and Jay (totally hooked me on podcasting, these gents did) and anyone else I forgot to mention...I really, really appreciate the kind words and the endless inspiration. Five years down...

...and who the Hell knows how many left to go.