Thursday, August 13, 2015

BLOGATHON: Against the Crowd (part deux)

Like Tony! Toni! Tone!, Dell, over at Dell on Movies has done it again. And yes, it feels good. 

Click on the banner for official rules and information.
And The Quick and Dirties.
Rebooting last year's Against the Crowd blogathon, Dell's back with what would appear to be his annual assignment. In short, Dell's asking us to fight the good fight...like this:

1) Pick a movie that everyone loves, square up, and kick it in the balls.

2) Pick a movie that no one loves, and take it out to dinner. Invite it up for coffee. And then, after pretending to really listen, make sweet love to it. 

3) In each case, use tomatoes. Rotten ones.





I don't recall hating Frozen [review]. Not at all. But, I think we all need to calm the f--k down, you know? This is basically every other Disney flick ever made with some cute(r) songs and a talking snowman, okay? It's not something you divorce your husband for not really being that into. 

Worldwide, this is the 8th highest grossing film of all-time (although I'd like to shit on most of those films...and have here, here, here aaaand here). The f--k? It's basically a worse version of Tangled [review], and that came out only three years earlier, so it's not like this was something we'd never seen before!

Bad movie? No. Watch it again? Also no.

I'd rather put my dick in the snow.


Just like last year, I'm going to take shots at something universally adored, and stick my neck out for something no one gives a shit about. While that's within the rules, I guess, the idea was to stand up for a film that has a bad reputation, yes, but one that well...matters. Even if just a little. Well, friends, Deuce Bigalo: Male Gigalo probably doesn't fit the bill, but regardless, let me tell you: I f--king love this movie. So many great lines, possibly the best-worst plot ever, and Eddie Griffin eating tomatoes out of a hot tub (while probably inventing the term man-whore and man-gina along the way). I mean, what's not to like? Oh, and bonus points must be awarded to William Forsythe for kicking all kinds of ass as the psychotic cop with the small, no - thin, dick. He's so awesome.


Hmm. Maybe picking a Rob Schnieder movie was a mistake.

Did you just say steak?

22 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! I posted my entry to the Against the Crowd Blogathon too and I never actually expected to agree with anyone else's entries. I watched Deuce Bigalo: Male Gigalo years and years ago but I do remember liking it. I haven't actually seen Frozen, but I highly doubt it's 'all that' for anyone but the over eights.

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    1. Thanks, Rebecca. I'll be sure to check out your entry when Dell makes the master post, if not before.

      As for my picks, well, they're both kind of silly, but I found the parameters to be incredibly daunting. There wasn't a really highly-scored movie that I loathed, nor was there a 0%-er that I wanted to go to bat for. But Deuce? Deuce is sooo good. (and let us never mention the sequel).

      As for Frozen...let me ask you? Have you ever watched a Disney movie?

      You're all set then. Trust me.

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  2. I like Frozen, but it is everywhere and my kid has made me watch it a thousand times. It's only going to get worse when the sequel comes out. You know what, I like Duece Bigalow too. It was stupid and funny. The sequel was awful, but the first one was one of my favorites at the time it came out.

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    1. Hahaha, YES! My son actually can't stand Frozen, so I've only watched it a handful of times when my wife forces it upon him. It's honestly not that bad, I'm just calling shenanigans on the phenomenon. I mean, the love is flippin' insane.

      Oh man, we watched Deuce soooo many times on DVD. It was a movie we couldn't get enough of. Oh, and I totally had a thing for the girl at the fish store. Not that that's particularly relevant here....

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  3. Omg...we might really be kindred spirits! I chuckled right at the intro because I love Tony! Toni! Tone! And I'm so perfectly in line with you on both of these movies. I even own Deuce Bigalow on DVD. Both of them.

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    1. I think of that damn (though awesome) song every time I want to say that something has happened again. It might be a sign of a mental problems.

      Anyway, that's awesome that you're on board with Deuce. I remember buying the DVD for twenty actual dollars when it first came out, only because I couldn't wait to find it cheaper. That said, I totally got my money's worth, I played the damn thing so many times. Hmm. I wonder if it's on Netflix?

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  4. I'm with you on Frozen, It's sooo overrated.

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    1. Way overrated! It's no better than anything that Pixar has ever done. Why don't people lose their minds over Wall-E?

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    2. Because the second half of Wall*E sucks robot dick.

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    3. Had I been drinking water, this would have been the moment that I spit it all over my damn laptop.

      You're kidding about the second half of Wall-E, right? The space dance? The robot liberation? The f--king spark (possibly the most clever way to show love, um, ever)! *shakes shoulders* Son. SON! Come back to us! *says over his shoulder* He's gone to a bad place. But we can save him.

      That said, I will let you win the internet for the mere mention of 'robot dick'. It's just the best, when you think about it. I mean, why does a robot need a dick? And it gets sucked? Is that by another robot? Like, someone programmed it to do that?

      Ah, science.

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    4. No, I'm not joking:
      http://afistfuloffilms.blogspot.com/2015/06/4-ways-best-picture-2008.html

      And everything needs a dick, right?

      Well, not everything...

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  5. Seriously?? Deuce Bigalo?

    In the interest of full disclosure, I haven't seen it. I found the preview painful to watch, so I skipped it. My husband, on the other hand, is a big fan. :-)

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    1. Yes. Very serious..ly. I love that movie!

      The whole thing is painful to watch. But that's what makes it soooooo funny.

      Clearly your husband is a genius. Undoubtedly.

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  6. Haha, love the rounds of Frozen hatred, and I'm on board.
    I'm not sure I can defend Deuce Bigalow because I have a terrible memory - but i do know I saw it, and I can predict that I laughed. Just not sure if I was ashamed of myself for doing so.
    Great picks!

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    1. Hahaha! Suck on that, Frozen.

      Oh, for me, laughing is laughing, even if I'm a f--king idiot for doing so. But, as I recall, I genuinely thought that Deuce was funny. Maybe not for women, or smart men, but it cracked me the Hell up.

      Thanks!

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  7. I'll admit I've never sat down and watched Frozen from beginning to end but I'm still weary of it! Between my nieces and nephew I'm positive I've seen every frame of it multiple times passing through rooms where it was playing, enough already!

    I wouldn't go so far as to say Deuce Bigalow is a favorite but I got a few chuckles out of it and never quite understood the hate heaped on it. I've seen worse movies.

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    1. I don't know why I never responded to such a thoughtful comment, but here goes...

      Frozen has actually made quite the turnaround in my house, as i now have a daughter capable of belting out LET IT GO!!!!!! whenever she feels like it. It's kind of charming and annoying at the same time.

      Deuce is probably late 90s raunch at its finest. The golden era of Rob Schneider, too. It's not great...but I love it sooo much.

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