Hey, wait a minute. There's no birthday party for me here!

It's fitting that today is Mother's Day, as we celebrate those who not only brought us into this world, but those who have nurtured us along the way.

Tonight, well, what's left of it anyway, I'd like to celebrate a different kind of mother: Me.

Four years ago this evening, I started the shit show currently in front of you. Initially, it was 2 Dollar Cinema (with the bland, red-curtain background Blogger has at the ready). I thought I would actually say something with this forum, but quickly it turned into me making as many lame jokes as possible. Ah, how (wasted) time flies...

Anyway, as is the tradition around here [years three, two and one], I'd like to look back on the fourth year of Two Dollar Cinema. It's been a long, strange journey, that even though feels like a lifetime's worth of bullshit work, oddly also seems as if it's just getting started. 

Yikes.

The last year has been a rather tumultuous one for me personally. I quit a career, stayed at home with the kid(s), worked third shift (90 minutes away), quit that job, and ultimately went back to the initial career. Meaning? I watched a lot less movies. In fact, the past twelve months may be the lowest movie-watching totals of my adult life, which surprises no one, as I'm also at an all-time high of young lives responsible for.

• From May 10, 2014 to this evening, I saw 78 movies for the first time. Twenty of which I saw theatrically. That bests a previous low of 87 and 28. Ouch.
• You'd think I'd opt for some f--king comedy, but once again, drama wins out, as 33 of the films I watched would (loosely) qualify as dramatic.
• Of those 20 theatrical flicks, my number one partner-in-crime was my wife, with a whopping 9 nights out among adults. Pretty sure I need to check my math again on that one....seems high.

Speaking of high, here is a list of the best of the best from the last twelve months (don't sweat the order...I didn't):

1. Nightcrawler - Incredible. Gyllenhaal totally disappears.
2. Gone Girl - Jason and Freddy ain't got shit on Amy. What an amazing film.
3. her - A love story for your brain that breaks your heart. Phoenix will never be better.
4. Begin Again - Great songs are timeless. So is this movie.
5. Neighbors - My wife and I needed this one. Move over Axl, there's another Rose I will forever worship.
6. Guardians of the Galaxy - I dragged my wife in, but I dragged her out, too. 
7. 21 Jump Street - I was late to Tatum's greatness, but the original was hysterical.
8. Edge of Tomorrow - Like Cruise dying, I could watch this one over and over.
9. John Wick - Like the seemingly endless waves of guys getting shot in the head, Keanu killed me in this one.
10. Paddington - My son and I had the perfect snow day.
11. Blue Ruin - Revenge has never felt so real. Or sad.
12. Big Hero 6 - Even without much fanfare, another great Disney flick for sure. 

And now...the worst of the worst from the last twelve months. Trust me...this was a dogfight.

1. Tammy - Maybe not entirely deserving of the #1 spot, but still. I actually felt physical pain for everyone involved.
2. Jupiter Ascending - Unfathomably bad. I will still see the Wachowski's next film. Assuming there is one...
3. Sex Tape - Jason Segel isn't allowed to be in a movie this unfunny. I'm pretty sure it's a law.
4. They Came Together - ...and ruined my evening.
5. Big Eyes - Tim Burton, cementing his place as Guy Who Doesn't Give a F--k Anymore.
6. Labor Day - I actually had a blast with how awful this one was, but I expect more from Winslet and Brolin.
7. Godzilla - Hey, here's a plan for the sequel: SHOW THE F--KING MONSTER.
8. No Good Deed - Have a drink every time someone does something that no person would ever consider.
9. This is Where I Leave You - Oddly enough, is the same location where they'll find my body.
10. Captain Courageous - I almost jumped overboard.
11. Saving Mr. Banks - If only someone could have saved Mr. Brown...from the unhappiest person on the planet.

Before I go....two awards! Well, fine...three.

The award for: DESTROYING MY F--KING BRAIN goes to...Enemy with Jake Gylenhaal.

The award for: DESTROYING MY OTHER BRAIN goes to...Fifty Shades of Grey with that one guy.
And the award for I LOVE/HATE YOU SO MUCH goes to...Endless Love. I've never had so much fun with something so, soooo bad.

Thank you to all that routinely stop by. It means everything to me. I will never be able to fully articulate how much your comments and support actually mean to me.


Honestly, if I tried to tell you how I really feel...

I'd just repeat the same five words over and over...







before storming off to my room...

nearly in tears...





ashamed and embarrassed...









like a typical four year old.