If there was ever a moment when humanity as a whole knew the world was going to end, it's safe to assume that their would be a collective sadness throughout the globe. People from all walks of life, vastly different ages and religious beliefs would gather to reflect on their lives before it all came crashing down in an instant. And judging by an almost eight-hundred million dollar global box office haul, millions of us would be regretting the same thing: the fact that we each wasted almost three hours watching the God-awful, 2012.
I don't want to even get into the Mayan calendar ridiculousness. If you believe in it, awesome. I'm not sure you should be wasting precious time reading a crappy movie blog. You should probably be making sure your tinfoil hat is fully operational.
As far as this movie is concerned, the Mayans were right. So, secretly a plan is formulated to save mankind. If you're rich, you're in. If you're a giraffe, you're in. Had the focus been on this plan, and the construction of the arks, I might've been on board. But instead, we get the played out guy-who-lost-his-family-must-redeem-himself-during-world-ending-disaster story. You know, that old thing.
Despite the woefully absurd events, the horrible dialogue, the one-note characters and the daughter who pees herself, this movie could've been okay. But it's almost three hours long. There is enough cringe-inducing dialogue and pseudo-science to create seventeen SyFy Originals. We came for the destruction. And nothing else. It's like a slutty girl who just wants to talk.
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| Just like that river twisting through a dusty land |
As far as this movie is concerned, the Mayans were right. So, secretly a plan is formulated to save mankind. If you're rich, you're in. If you're a giraffe, you're in. Had the focus been on this plan, and the construction of the arks, I might've been on board. But instead, we get the played out guy-who-lost-his-family-must-redeem-himself-during-world-ending-disaster story. You know, that old thing.
Despite the woefully absurd events, the horrible dialogue, the one-note characters and the daughter who pees herself, this movie could've been okay. But it's almost three hours long. There is enough cringe-inducing dialogue and pseudo-science to create seventeen SyFy Originals. We came for the destruction. And nothing else. It's like a slutty girl who just wants to talk.
