Working with children has afforded me the dubious honor of seeing my fair share of disgusting things. Countless incidents of vomiting, both from afar and literally at me are the most obvious choices. But nose pickers, mid-conversation snot bubbles and kids having their hands down all sides of their pants also enter the contest for worst thing I've ever seen. Let's not even get into (burgeoning) lady problems, and evidence thereof. Even potentially worse? A cute little second grader, while on snacktime at the playground, brought me what she thought was an old balloon, deflated and covered in something sticky. Gross.
But, hands down, the most purely disgusting thing I've ever experienced? I once stepped, and half-slipped, in a light-brown, freshly formed turd.
Inside of our house.
Barefoot.
And we didn't have a dog.
The new Evil Dead is without a doubt, the most brutally disgusting movie I've ever seen. It might be marketed as terrifying, but it actually isn't that scary. At all. But, what it lacks in jump scares, it makes up, tenfold, with unrelenting atrocities. It's not bad. I actually kind of liked it...a lot, but it's a f--king grind. You will see something horrible. The you will see something worse. And then, all Hell will break loose.
Look, we all agree this remake/reboot/rehash shit is getting a bit out of hand, but the 2013 version of Evil Dead does a lot right. It takes a relatively beloved cult flick and knocks it on its ass. Now, I'm not an expert on the first one by any means. For every time I've seen the original, I've seen Evil Dead 2 five times, Army of Darkness ten. Instead of being the moderately creepy (student?) film the first one was, the updated version is a highly polished slaughterhouse. They had millions of dollars to spend, and that cash sure as shit wasn't earmarked for anything other than graphic violence. They probably spent a hundred grand on tendons.
The plot is simple, but effective. Five friends head to ye old cabin in the woods. But instead of drunken debauchery, the aim of the weekend is slightly more noble. There, they will try, yet again, to stage an intervention/detox for the youngest of the crew, Mia. And while I didn't really care for any of the characters or their limited backstory, the setup works. Mia's a hardcore addict, so even though they can't trust her, they're exceedingly patient. When she screams we need to leave, someone frowns and gives her a hug. When she shuffles into the room covered in most of the different bodily fluids, they think she just needs a shower and some rest. It's ridiculous, but in the context of the film, it's also a perfect cover for some crazy-ass demonic possession.
But, hands down, the most purely disgusting thing I've ever experienced? I once stepped, and half-slipped, in a light-brown, freshly formed turd.
Inside of our house.
Barefoot.
The new Evil Dead is without a doubt, the most brutally disgusting movie I've ever seen. It might be marketed as terrifying, but it actually isn't that scary. At all. But, what it lacks in jump scares, it makes up, tenfold, with unrelenting atrocities. It's not bad. I actually kind of liked it...a lot, but it's a f--king grind. You will see something horrible. The you will see something worse. And then, all Hell will break loose.
Look, we all agree this remake/reboot/rehash shit is getting a bit out of hand, but the 2013 version of Evil Dead does a lot right. It takes a relatively beloved cult flick and knocks it on its ass. Now, I'm not an expert on the first one by any means. For every time I've seen the original, I've seen Evil Dead 2 five times, Army of Darkness ten. Instead of being the moderately creepy (student?) film the first one was, the updated version is a highly polished slaughterhouse. They had millions of dollars to spend, and that cash sure as shit wasn't earmarked for anything other than graphic violence. They probably spent a hundred grand on tendons.
The plot is simple, but effective. Five friends head to ye old cabin in the woods. But instead of drunken debauchery, the aim of the weekend is slightly more noble. There, they will try, yet again, to stage an intervention/detox for the youngest of the crew, Mia. And while I didn't really care for any of the characters or their limited backstory, the setup works. Mia's a hardcore addict, so even though they can't trust her, they're exceedingly patient. When she screams we need to leave, someone frowns and gives her a hug. When she shuffles into the room covered in most of the different bodily fluids, they think she just needs a shower and some rest. It's ridiculous, but in the context of the film, it's also a perfect cover for some crazy-ass demonic possession.
