There are few moments that all of us will remember forever. These instances where time stood still and society, hell, humanity united in awe of a completely transcendent event. Close your eyes. Think back to 2006. Where were you, when you first heard Samuel L. Jackson utter, Enough is enough! I've had it with these motherf--king snakes on this motherf--king plane.
Maybe I'm half joking, but I fully believe Snakes on a Plane was a watershed moment in contemporary cinema. For a minute, absurdly titled, low-concept movies were cool. Really cool. Mainstream, even. Now, the DTV market had been churning out messes like that for years, but now there was a dash of legitimacy to them. In my mind, this is the moment that every ridiculous idea was just so stupid, it might work.
Despite the latest flick I've seen ending up with the incredibly lame title of Bait, more fitting would have been Sharks in a Grocery Store. Well, fine, that title is f--king lame, too, but at least it would get your attention. After catching this one (hi-yo!), I can see why they went for a more serious title. Because that was their angle, for the most part: serious.
Now, that doesn't mean the movie is completely terrible, but it does mean there are going to be entirely too many minutes where people are talking/I'm not giving a shit rather than where sharks are eating faces/I'm fully engrossed. Keep that in mind, when you never, ever watch this, okay?
Let's revisit stupid ideas for a second (and yes, actually renting this is on the list). After a freak tsunami devastates a coastal city, a group of people are trapped in a flooded grocery store. With two massive sharks. Yes, the sharks got inside, but there's no way out. Oh, and minutes prior to this, we had a failed robbery in said grocery store. Because, you know, why rob a bank, when your town has a f--king grocery store.
Maybe I'm half joking, but I fully believe Snakes on a Plane was a watershed moment in contemporary cinema. For a minute, absurdly titled, low-concept movies were cool. Really cool. Mainstream, even. Now, the DTV market had been churning out messes like that for years, but now there was a dash of legitimacy to them. In my mind, this is the moment that every ridiculous idea was just so stupid, it might work.
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| I think the 's' in theaters is a little presumptuous. |
Now, that doesn't mean the movie is completely terrible, but it does mean there are going to be entirely too many minutes where people are talking/I'm not giving a shit rather than where sharks are eating faces/I'm fully engrossed. Keep that in mind, when you never, ever watch this, okay?
Let's revisit stupid ideas for a second (and yes, actually renting this is on the list). After a freak tsunami devastates a coastal city, a group of people are trapped in a flooded grocery store. With two massive sharks. Yes, the sharks got inside, but there's no way out. Oh, and minutes prior to this, we had a failed robbery in said grocery store. Because, you know, why rob a bank, when your town has a f--king grocery store.
