I've never had an STD. I mean, they sound kind of awesome though, right? At least how you get them does.
Look, you're either a total slut, had sex with someone who's a total slut, or at least caught something randomly, of course, having sex. Technically, dirty sex at that. Sound like a win. It's like telling someone a story about something that happened at the gym. You get to say, Well, I was working out...and you don't necessarily sound like an asshole. But here? It's even better. So, like, after we banged...
That's great, you know? It's not like it permanently scars you by secretly following you around the rest of your life, threatening to kill you at any given second. Cause that's decidedly not great. Or awesome.
But what is awesome, especially days later, is the slow-burning greatness of It Follows. Horror movies are known for their cheap scares and supernatural villains, but David Robert Mitchell's film axes those ideas in the face. Instead, we're treated to something still terrifying, but in a nuanced, semi-realistic way. And arguably the best horror movie villain ever.
Set in a Detroit suburb, It Follows is a pretty simple story. After a jarring opening (think The Ring, expect less terrifying) we meet neighborhood hottie, Jay (a lovely Maika Monroe). Jay is out at the movies with her boyfriend, when things head south. Not that, perv, but her man sees someone that Jay can't. Yikes.
Bad as that is, they end up doing it in his car, and Jay wakes up, you guessed it, tied to a f--king wheelchair [insert Taylor Swift saying Oh no here]. Very quickly, this f--ker explains the rules and seems Jay will now have some sort of demon following her until she can pass it off to someone else. Well, f--k me, how can she get rid of this thing? I think you just answered your own question. Ohhhh.
I don't get it.
Look, you're either a total slut, had sex with someone who's a total slut, or at least caught something randomly, of course, having sex. Technically, dirty sex at that. Sound like a win. It's like telling someone a story about something that happened at the gym. You get to say, Well, I was working out...and you don't necessarily sound like an asshole. But here? It's even better. So, like, after we banged...
That's great, you know? It's not like it permanently scars you by secretly following you around the rest of your life, threatening to kill you at any given second. Cause that's decidedly not great. Or awesome.
Set in a Detroit suburb, It Follows is a pretty simple story. After a jarring opening (think The Ring, expect less terrifying) we meet neighborhood hottie, Jay (a lovely Maika Monroe). Jay is out at the movies with her boyfriend, when things head south. Not that, perv, but her man sees someone that Jay can't. Yikes.
Bad as that is, they end up doing it in his car, and Jay wakes up, you guessed it, tied to a f--king wheelchair [insert Taylor Swift saying Oh no here]. Very quickly, this f--ker explains the rules and seems Jay will now have some sort of demon following her until she can pass it off to someone else. Well, f--k me, how can she get rid of this thing? I think you just answered your own question. Ohhhh.
I don't get it.
