Can't fight the devil without the armor.

You want to know scary? Have a child - be responsible for a life. But what's even worse than general worry? Throw illness on top of that. Specifically, unannounced vomiting. Yeah, that's shit's terrifying. Last night, I managed to watch The Last Exorcism. And while it had a moment or two of uneasiness, waiting for the next round of Linda Blair-style emissions from a two-and-half-year old is truly shudder-worthy. Truly.

Put a couch under her back and you get exactly how my son fell asleep tonight.

When I got this movie from Goozex, I thought it was something else. For some reason, I thought I was getting the yet unreleased (on blu ray), The Devil Inside. I know, what an idiot, but there are some similarities. Both are of the ever-burgeoning/dying slowly found footage variety. Both deal with exorcisms. And both, depending on who you ask, suck gigantic amounts of ass. Now, I didn't see The Devil Inside, but I can tell you now, this movie is not as horrible as the good folks at The Internet would lead you to believe. It's not great. Not at all. But, as a chaser to around seven hours of college basketball - it's not the worst thing ever. Matty throwing up on the couch? That's on the list.

The Last Exorcism tells the story of Cotton Marcus, a highly engaging preacher who is, well, completely full of shit. Oh, this isn't a secret at all, he tells us right out of the gate. He's a family man and, like the rest of us, has bills to pay. Exorcisms are his business, and business is good (that was my attempt to sneak in a Major Payne quote), Anyway, he and a camera crew set out to film all the shenanigans. He wants to expose the scams. So this should be cut and dry, right? Shockingly, not so much.