As I've gotten older, it's become harder to let go and just believe. Where once my faith was unflinching, now that steadfast belief has eroded into an ugly and unwelcome indifference. I desperately want it to be like when I was a kid, back when I was excited to spend just an hour or two in His presence. Back then, I didn't really even know what He was saying, but I liked the way the words sounded, and I loved what He stood for. He was my universe, no, our universe.
Hell, he was Mr. Universe.
While much of the movie-going world was experiencing the religious epic Noah this past weekend, me and four other chumps spread out in theater 8 and watched Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest, Sabotage. For a moment, I was thrilled to see my boyhood hero kicking ass (yet again) on the big screen, but we don't go to the movies for a moment, do we (outside of a glorious nude scene, naturally)? We typically go for something slightly more substantial (like a much longer nude scene) .
Now, don't get me wrong, there actually is a little substance here, but it's completely buried under a cast of characters that f--king suck. Seriously, I can think of few movies where I literally wanted the entire cast to die in horrific fashion (though Only God Forgives comes to mind) just so I could be not pissed. And even when that actually started happening I was still furious. Wait, whaaaat?
Sabotage is like Predator in the fact that we've got Arnold leading a team of badasses with cool names. Instead of Mack and Billy fighting an invisible angry vagina monster from space, we've got Grinder and Neck fighting each other, relatable human emotion, and various Mexican drug cartels. I'm sorry, they don't use that term any more. Anyway, unlike the team assembled to level the jungle, most of the guys in Sabotage come off as the worst people alive. Especially the girl. Turns out, when you don't like the crew...it's hard to like pretty much anything.
