My first name is Mario. Make your f--king Luigi joke now, but trust me, I've already heard it.
When my wife and I moved back to her hometown, unbeknownst to me, there were still a few ex-boyfriends we could run into. Apparently, some of these dudes weren't exactly the best boyfriends, and didn't exactly treat her right. While there's a part of me that is thankful for that (think about that for a second), there's also a part of me that wouldn't mind if these guys would simply f--k off and die. And one in particular, a guy who grew up to be a lawyer (of course he did), just so happens to pop up about once a year. I've never met him, don't even know what he looks like, but yeah, f--k that guy.
His last name?
Bowser.
Short of helping that (potentially nice) guy move the Hell out of town, I don't think there's much I'd be willing to do for one of my wife's former lovers. In the 2016 flick, Jane Got a Gun, however, Joel Edgerton's Dan Frost is asked to do much more than horribly pack boxes. Actually, he's asked to pack heat, in order to protect the currently ailing husband...of his ex-wife. Wait, what?
Noah Emmerich (kind of) plays Bill Hammond, who apparently crossed the notorious John Bishop, the head honcho of the ruthless Bishop Boys gang. One day, Hammond stumbles home wounded, and falls directly into the arms of his loving (and tough as nails) wife, Jane (a very stoic Natalie Portman). With just a mention of Bishop, Jane, after removing a few bullets from her husband's torso, knows that Hell is coming. I'm just not sure who the Devil is, exactly.
And while she's certainly down to lay waste to anybody intent on harming her family, Jane also knows deep down she can't do it alone. Since she's about a hundred and ten years ahead of the Ghostbusters, uh, and phones, there's really only one person she can call: Dan Frost.
The poor bastard Jane left behind, so that she could shack up with Hammond.
When my wife and I moved back to her hometown, unbeknownst to me, there were still a few ex-boyfriends we could run into. Apparently, some of these dudes weren't exactly the best boyfriends, and didn't exactly treat her right. While there's a part of me that is thankful for that (think about that for a second), there's also a part of me that wouldn't mind if these guys would simply f--k off and die. And one in particular, a guy who grew up to be a lawyer (of course he did), just so happens to pop up about once a year. I've never met him, don't even know what he looks like, but yeah, f--k that guy.
His last name?
Bowser.
Noah Emmerich (kind of) plays Bill Hammond, who apparently crossed the notorious John Bishop, the head honcho of the ruthless Bishop Boys gang. One day, Hammond stumbles home wounded, and falls directly into the arms of his loving (and tough as nails) wife, Jane (a very stoic Natalie Portman). With just a mention of Bishop, Jane, after removing a few bullets from her husband's torso, knows that Hell is coming. I'm just not sure who the Devil is, exactly.
And while she's certainly down to lay waste to anybody intent on harming her family, Jane also knows deep down she can't do it alone. Since she's about a hundred and ten years ahead of the Ghostbusters, uh, and phones, there's really only one person she can call: Dan Frost.
The poor bastard Jane left behind, so that she could shack up with Hammond.
