I messed up in high school. Big time. Maybe it was my parents fault (as they chose the neighborhood), or maybe some other nefarious force was at work, but looking back, I squandered many a sexual conquest. While my personality was the likely culprit, I'm going to point the finger at my old nemesis, circumstance. Time and time again, that crotchety bastard routinely f--ked me over. My family lived in a part of the neighborhood that featured a) zero girls my age and b) no super-hot/incredibly depressed mothers. Oh, and c) no one had a pool. The only thing getting screwed around my house, was the pooch.
For the record, that last line sounded much better in my head.
White Bird in a Blizzard isn't about a desperate teenage boy and his desire to become a sexual tyrannosaur. At least not really, Instead, it's about a teenage girl, who in the wake of her mother's disappearance, f--ks her way through her teenage years. While her depression may be below the surface, her indifference is spilling over. The salaciousness may be moderately overstated, but it seems that sex and lust are the root of all evil in director Gregg Araki's latest.
Shailene Woodley plays Kat, a fairly typical 17 year-old, hanging out and playing Nintendo in the late eighties/early nineties. Once upon a time, her parents were a seemingly happy couple, though Kat's mom might have something to say about that. In fact, once she finally speaks up, it's not too long after that ol' Mom doesn't come home for supper. I mean, doesn't come home to cook supper. Bummer. I'll take Sesame Chicken with white rice, okay?
Mr. Connors (a bewildered Christopher Meloni), Kat's dad, would likely be the chief suspect, but not only does he pass his polygraph, he's also a huge pussy. He might show flashes of a spine, but that's only when he's bent over, taking it up the ass from his hardcore wife, Eve Connors, played by that dame to kill for, Eva Green.
For the record, that last line sounded much better in my head.
Shailene Woodley plays Kat, a fairly typical 17 year-old, hanging out and playing Nintendo in the late eighties/early nineties. Once upon a time, her parents were a seemingly happy couple, though Kat's mom might have something to say about that. In fact, once she finally speaks up, it's not too long after that ol' Mom doesn't come home for supper. I mean, doesn't come home to cook supper. Bummer. I'll take Sesame Chicken with white rice, okay?
Mr. Connors (a bewildered Christopher Meloni), Kat's dad, would likely be the chief suspect, but not only does he pass his polygraph, he's also a huge pussy. He might show flashes of a spine, but that's only when he's bent over, taking it up the ass from his hardcore wife, Eve Connors, played by that dame to kill for, Eva Green.
