To the last breath.

The obvious choice is Gladiator. Always has been, likely always will be. And before that, at least chronologically anyway, Zack Snyder's 300. But while I'm able to teach about the greatest ancient civilizations, I'm very much unable to show the correlating (and ADHD-proof) big-budgeted Hollywood films that illustrate these cultures so well. It's not the historical inaccuracies to blame, either (in the films, silly, not...my teaching, for example). Actually, it's the stuff that (probably) really happened that's the real problem.

Chiefly, the violence. And the sex.

If only there was a movie so absurdly watered down it would be borderline offensive in its inoffensiveness.
If only...

I'm not sure if this is fan-made or not.
(applies to both movie and poster, oddly enough)

Not only written and directed for sixth graders, The Last Legion might also have been written and directed by sixth graders. Set during the fall of Rome in 460 A.D., director Doug Lefler's 2007 flick approaches history with the subtlety of a note that says 'Do you like me? [circle yes or no]

And that's what makes it so friggin' awesome.

Seemingly minutes after being crowned Emperor of Rome, young Romulus Augustus (the kid from The Maze Runner, apparently, if I could decipher the shrieks), last of the Caesar bloodline, sees his parents butchered before him. Aww. And in the ensuing chaos, the kid is chased down and captured by a goon of Odoacer (a brilliantly over-the-top Peter Mullan), leader of the Goths. The Goths have taken Rome after being slighted by the previous regime...uh, earlier that afternoon. 

Clearly, this whole mystery of 'Where in the World is Romulus Augustus Gloop?' must be solved, and it's up to Colin Firth's Aurelius, the leader of what's left of the Imperial Guard handle it. And he does. About seven minutes later.