I've been robbed once. At least, only one time that I'm fully aware of, apparently, as the thieves stole every dime I had...in my bank account. No lost wallet, no missing debit card, just some (possibly?) hi-tech thievery that rendered me, for about a week, absolutely penniless.
Initially, I imagined it was a guy behind it. Some random asshole. And in my mind, he was a fat f--ker, with greasy hair and a face you'd love to punch. Maybe that mental image was the irritated result of all the bank-related f--kery I had to deal with to get my money back, or maybe that punchable face (belonging to an unsavory scumbag) was more of an amalgamation of bad-movie stereotypes.
Notice I said bad movie. 'Cause in good movies?
Thieves don't work alone. They work in teams. Teams full of sexy, smart and ultimately likable characters.
Like... aww, I'd wish they steal from me!
Perhaps stealing two hours of the most precious commodity, time, is the 2015 crime-flick, Focus. Starring the rather dashing duo of Will Smith and Margot Robbie, Focus tells the tale of an master con-artist falling in love with his lovely young apprentice.
Or does he? Because in these kind of flicks...who the f--k really knows?
What I do know, however, is that despite having two extremely capable leads, a groovy soundtrack, and style hanging out of its perfectly round ass, Focus seems to be missing something, even if just barely.
After a bungled con-job on Smith's veteran grifter, Nicky, the doe-eyed Jess (the always amazing Robbie) decides she wants in. Nick and Jess, after probably the sexiest on the job training scene ever, take their talents to the Big Easy, where a big game has turned Bourbon Street into sucker central. Nicky and his crew deal in volume, aka a lot of a little, and hustle and pickpocket their way to a solid $1.4. Or do they?
Ever the risk-taker, Nicky manages to lose all of the team's, um, earnings, after the weirdest pissing contest ever. Taking the form of an outrageous series of prop-bets with mysterious millionaire Luyaun (BD Wong, kicking ass for ten minutes), Nicky can't quit while he's ahead, and manages to lose everything in the blink of an eye. Or does he?
Okay, okay. I'll stop now.
