You should've considered my happiness too.

Whether it's my wallet, Matty's water bottle, Violet's you-name-it (do all six year-old girls have a million items in two million locations), my wife can locate anything that anyone needs at any time. If tasked to make a list of what I like about her by a dick-sucking mediator, this uncanny ability of hers to remember the location of everything would certainly make the cut. Uh, among (many) other things.

But me? Dad? I can be standing in the fridge and totally unable to find the f--king milk. 

It's staring me right in the goddamn face, but even with my eyes wide open...sometimes? 

I still can't see it. 

Yeah, that's f--king cool as Hell.

As a last ditch effort to see all the Best Picture nominees before the Oscars last Sunday, my wife and I amicably decided to watch Marriage Story together. Written and directed by Noah Baumbach, this Netflix exclusive is an exhaustive (and exhausting) look at the end of a marriage. Sounds fun, right?

Actually, it is, kind of, as seeing Adam Driver do just about anything is a good time. Combining a forlorn Kylo Ren with two-plus hours of peak ScarJo is straight-up dream casting. Frankly, Marriage Story is an exceedingly intimate film that would have been nothing short of tedious without such a stellar cast.

Driver plays Charlie, a stage director on the cusp of breakout success. Charlie's play is getting rave reviews, and his genius is readily apparent, but some of that success can surely be attributed to his leading lady both on-stage and off, Nicole (Johansson). Years ago, Charlie and Nicole were probably the couple everyone wanted to be (/do [I mean, c'mon]), but when we meet them, the wheels have fallen off their marriage and Nicole is looking to head west with their young son, Henry. Charlie is blindsided by her heading to California, but you get the sense that everything that happens outside of the play is news to him.