Yesterday, it was announced that Clayton Kershaw of the Los Angeles Dodgers signed a contract extension for 7 years, paying him a total of $215 million dollars. That's an average of $30.7 million dollars per year. Or based, on his career stats thus far, Kershaw will take home just under 9 thousand dollars a pitch. It doesn't even have to be a good one. Immediately, the thought crossed my mind to wake up my sleeping four-year old, head out back, and have him start throwing left-handed fastballs. But baseball's hard. You have to like, practice and stuff. I wish there was a way to make millions and millions of dollars a year doing something a lot less taxing. Something I could actually teach him...
...like spewing non-stop bullshit with the greatest of conviction, perhaps? Hey, wait a second.
I do that all the time.
The Wolf of Wall Street, despite being set over twenty years ago, seemingly tells the modern version of the American Dream. Or at least the one presented on bad TV. Generations ago, it was work hard, get married, buy a house, have some kids and retire. Now? It seems the dream has become more of get filthy-ass rich at all costs, whether or not you have any discernible talent, while giving a huge f--k about the immediate future.
That assessment, as admittedly shortsighted as it may be, also does a bit of a disservice to Wolf's real-life protagonist, Jordan Belfort. Played by the ageless Leonardo DiCaprio, Jordan is a talented individual, well, as much as an actual shark has talent, anyway (an extremely handsome shark, no less). From the moment he's taken under the wing of veteran stockbroker Mark Hanna (a hysterical Matthew McConaughey), Jordan absolutely refuses to let anything stop him or even slow him down. It's an amazing quality that makes him admirable, even if he's essentially a huge f--king scumbag. But if you can manage to sit through Martin Scorcese's latest film and not find yourself liking/rooting for Leo's Jordan, drop me an e-mail and I'll send you a dollar. No, scratch that. I'll buy you three shares of Delcath Systems Inc (DCTH). It's currently trading at 29 cents a share. But it's going to be huge. Trust me.
...like spewing non-stop bullshit with the greatest of conviction, perhaps? Hey, wait a second.
I do that all the time.
That assessment, as admittedly shortsighted as it may be, also does a bit of a disservice to Wolf's real-life protagonist, Jordan Belfort. Played by the ageless Leonardo DiCaprio, Jordan is a talented individual, well, as much as an actual shark has talent, anyway (an extremely handsome shark, no less). From the moment he's taken under the wing of veteran stockbroker Mark Hanna (a hysterical Matthew McConaughey), Jordan absolutely refuses to let anything stop him or even slow him down. It's an amazing quality that makes him admirable, even if he's essentially a huge f--king scumbag. But if you can manage to sit through Martin Scorcese's latest film and not find yourself liking/rooting for Leo's Jordan, drop me an e-mail and I'll send you a dollar. No, scratch that. I'll buy you three shares of Delcath Systems Inc (DCTH). It's currently trading at 29 cents a share. But it's going to be huge. Trust me.
