If you tell anyone, this empire collapses.

What you're reading right now - this is me. More than anything else, Two Dollar Cinema best represents who I am as a person. I'm no artist, not by any stretch, but sadly, this site distinctly expresses who I am. And as the hours add up (and the pageviews trend down), I find myself thinking more more about I much time I spend here, toiling away in obscurity.

Wouldn't it be great if the whole world could see my work? Of course it would. I would do anything for that kind of exposure. Even take your name off of it? Give the credit entirely to someone else?

Bullshit. Sure. I could live with that. The Hell I could. I just want to share what I do with the world. And bask in their adoration, you sonuvabitch.

Big Eyes, from director Tim Burton, recounts the tumultuous life of painter of Margaret Keane, who for years sat idly by as her husband took the credit for her work. Though the story is compelling and (quietly) infuriating, the film itself seems to be oddly similar to the children Keane so often painted: eerily lifeless.

Playing the aforementioned plaintiff and defendant husband and wife, is the capable duo of Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz. Clearly the strained chemistry is the point, but as the focal point of the film it can be a tough watch when the couple has this little on-screen chemistry. Have you ever seen your grandparents kiss? Well, that shit is about 900% hotter than any moment between these two passionate artists.

If you can get beyond the somehow lifeless pairing of two of the best actors working today, you may have an alright time. I think my wife enjoyed it much more than I did, but in an insane reversal of fortunes, I was the one falling asleep. Sad, I know.