When the manager of my local theater called me last Friday, I was totally rattled. I figured he was reaching out to all of the [potentially] infected, but instead, he was asking if I could come about half an hour earlier. Turns out no one else had bought a ticket, and he was thinking he could get his staff home just a little bit earlier if they could move my 10 o'clock showing up.
That's very nice of you, but, uh, how about I stay home altogether and you guys get out even earlier?
He laughed, but informed me that there was another late show with actual paying customers, so whether I showed or not, they wouldn't be getting out any earlier if I stayed home. He then sweetened the deal with whatever snacks I wanted, free of charge.
The whole conversation had me thinking. Is it smart to go to the theater right now? But you'll be the only one in it. Exactly, because you know this movie sucks ass. But you love shitty movies. This is dumb. You're dumb. Stay home. But...Henry. He's so nice. And this might be the last time you go to a theater for a very long time.
Needless to say, there was a lot running through my head...while I hauled ass to the theater.
I didn't know about the existence of Bloodshot before my older brother Bryan showed me the trailer late last year, yet here I was, alone, disinfecting my stadium seat (and the adjacent ones at that). Being that Bry was so stoked with the premise, not to mention the promise of this latest comic-book flick (especially when Vin gets his face blown off in slo-mo to close the trailer), I immediately recommended we watch Upgrade [review] which seemed to be cast from a similar mold. And while there are easily identifiable similarities, let's be honest with ourselves: who the f--k cares? DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE?!?
Vin Diesel is not Groot, but instead plays a soldier named Ray, who after watching his sexy lady murdered directly in front of him, is himself shot in the head and killed. Or balls and wounded. It doesn't matter.
What might matter, is that Ray is somehow saved, and now enlisted in a super-secret super-soldier squad. Training with his insanely hot partner KT, Ray quickly learns he's basically a deadpan Deadpool, strong as f--k and capable of instant regeneration, assuming shit goes sideways. Heading the program is Guy Pearce, which doesn't do anything to dampen the Memento-vibe, which may or may not have been thrust our way intentionally.
That's very nice of you, but, uh, how about I stay home altogether and you guys get out even earlier?
He laughed, but informed me that there was another late show with actual paying customers, so whether I showed or not, they wouldn't be getting out any earlier if I stayed home. He then sweetened the deal with whatever snacks I wanted, free of charge.
The whole conversation had me thinking. Is it smart to go to the theater right now? But you'll be the only one in it. Exactly, because you know this movie sucks ass. But you love shitty movies. This is dumb. You're dumb. Stay home. But...Henry. He's so nice. And this might be the last time you go to a theater for a very long time.
Needless to say, there was a lot running through my head...while I hauled ass to the theater.
I didn't know about the existence of Bloodshot before my older brother Bryan showed me the trailer late last year, yet here I was, alone, disinfecting my stadium seat (and the adjacent ones at that). Being that Bry was so stoked with the premise, not to mention the promise of this latest comic-book flick (especially when Vin gets his face blown off in slo-mo to close the trailer), I immediately recommended we watch Upgrade [review] which seemed to be cast from a similar mold. And while there are easily identifiable similarities, let's be honest with ourselves: who the f--k cares? DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE?!?Vin Diesel is not Groot, but instead plays a soldier named Ray, who after watching his sexy lady murdered directly in front of him, is himself shot in the head and killed. Or balls and wounded. It doesn't matter.
What might matter, is that Ray is somehow saved, and now enlisted in a super-secret super-soldier squad. Training with his insanely hot partner KT, Ray quickly learns he's basically a deadpan Deadpool, strong as f--k and capable of instant regeneration, assuming shit goes sideways. Heading the program is Guy Pearce, which doesn't do anything to dampen the Memento-vibe, which may or may not have been thrust our way intentionally.
